• My son didn't know what college he wanted to go to or what to major in.
• Instead of taking a gap year to figure it out, he enrolled in college anyway.
• He regrets that decision, but at least, he enrolled in a community college to save money.

My son is in grad school and loving what he's studying. But it wasn't an easy road to get here.

He was unsure about undergrad at first, chose a random major, and regretted it come graduation day. Looking back, he wonders if he should've taken a gap year between high school and college to figure out what he really wanted.

We've recently both reflected on his undergraduate years. It's clear he made some mistakes, but he found his way and is on the right path now.

My son felt rushed into a college decision

In hindsight, my son wasn't ready for college and didn't know what he wanted to do.

He was coming off four insanely busy and stressful years of high school. He simply didn't have the time to process or even consider his future.

I wish we'd discussed a gap year or delaying college, which would have given him time to figure out the right move for him, instead of following what was expected.

He agrees. He told me he often wishes he hadn't gone into college so quickly.

We should've had more honest conversations about his major

During May of his senior year, my son struggled. It was time to graduate and figure out what's next.

For most careers, college isn't the place where you learn about what the day-to-day is like, how to get an entry-level role, and what you'll earn.

It wasn't until he was job searching in those last few months of school that my son really learned about entry-level opportunities in his field.

The actual day-to-day work wasn't what he had been learning about in school, and the pay was quite low.

He knew that if he wanted to continue pursuing this career path, he'd need a master's degree, probably a doctorate. He figured he'd need five more years and $60,000 of schooling for something he really wasn't sure he wanted to do.

He shared that he was quickly learning the whole philosophy he had been told in high school and college was wrong: "You can't go to college for four years and get a decent job. For most professions, it's just not true," he told me.

I wish he had become involved in an activity earlier

Beyond the choices he made early on in his college career, he also made some mistakes during his first couple of years on campus.

He was a coed cheerleader in high school but didn't want that level of commitment anymore. He was simply too burned out from high school cheer to participate on his college campus. This was another incident where a gap year could've helped.

We both wish he had done an activity in those first years, but he eventually joined cheerleading as a junior. He made new friends and had memorable experiences cheering at games and nationals.

Luckily, my son went to community college first to save money

We live in Illinois, and state schools are expensive here. For the 2023-2024 school year, Illinois in-state tuition averaged $18,155.

Therefore, he made a great decision: He enrolled in an excellent community college, which was a more affordable way to explore majors and adapt to having more independence. He saved thousands by exploring what he wanted to study at a cheaper school.

He then attended the UWM in his sophomore year. He lived on campus, and the cost was about $18,000 a year.

Although it was a bumpy road, my son finally found his passion a few years after graduation when he started therapy.

Now he's studying to be a licensed professional counselor and recommends knowing what you want to do before college. He says work in the field, have personal experiences, and talk to people on the job. Enroll when you have figured out what you have a true passion for.

• We don't throw big birthday parties for our kids until they are old enough to appreciate it.
• Earlier parties are simple family affairs, as young kids probably won't remember them anyway.
• At 5, most kids are ready for a drop-off party, so I can focus my energy on the kids having fun.

My daughter clearly remembers her fifth birthday party. Granted, it was only a year ago, but considering she forgets almost everything I tell her, the fact that she recalls it at all feels like a win.

We held the event in my parents' backyard. I ordered food, hired a company to give the girls manicures and hair treatments, bought a cake I was sure she'd love, picked out matching dresses for her and her sister, and spent time curating goody bags that wouldn't get tossed the moment the kids got home.

In other words: throwing a fifth birthday party — a memorable one, at least — is a lot of work. Especially when you compare it to the minimal effort needed for a first or second birthday event in our family. That's because, our kids don't get big parties with all the bells and whistles until they turn 5, and that's by design.

We didn't bother with toddler parties for a reason

For a toddler, you can order some food for the adults, hire a company to play music for the babies, toss a ball pit into a quiet corner and call it a day. But I refused to do that, even when my daughter started begging for a party at age 3.

As I told her, and will eventually tell her three younger siblings, your real birthday party will come at age 5, even if it requires more effort to make it special since it involves entertaining older kids. Why do I refuse to throw a party for my kids before then? Because they won't remember it as clearly, or at all, when they're young.

The kids won't remember early celebrations anyway

To be clear: our kids haven't been denied celebrations before the age of 5, they have just been smaller, simpler affairs kept within the family.

They always get to choose whatever sort of birthday cake they want and are the center of attention during big family dinners that involve singing the happy birthday song in many different languages as the cake is served to all of their cousins.

We also celebrate their birthdays at school, within the guidelines set by their teachers. Only mommy attends the brief 10-minute event, which includes handing out cupcakes to the whole class, and a bit of dancing.

Things change when kids turn 5

At least in my social circles, age 5 — right around when kids start pre-K where we live — is when kids can handle being on their own with friends under the supervision of adults who aren't their parents, teachers, or family members. That's when drop-off parties, where guests are dropped off and get pick up when the party is over, become the norm.

There are many upsides to these kinds of events, starting with the parents themselves. I'm doing everyone a favor by not asking them to sit through the heat, loud music or the inevitable chorus of, "More candy! More cake! I want to go on the jumpy castle!" Instead, I'm giving them two blissful, guilt-free hours to themselves, knowing their child is having a great time.

And from a practical standpoint, I don't have to worry about feeding or entertaining the grown-ups, because they're not there.

Science is on my side

I did some research to really get to the bottom of the whole matter and assuage the sporadic pangs of guilt I felt when my daughter asked me for a birthday party before the age of 5 and, as I thought would be the case, it turns out that these sorts of drop-off celebrations may benefit the attendees' social development.

According to a study on the power of play, unstructured peer interactions — those that occur without direct parental involvement, which is exactly what a drop-off birthday party is about — play a critical role in developing cooperation, communication and conflict resolution skills in early childhood. See? Even science proves our theory right.

Now our other kids know what to expect for their own parties. As my first daughter's fifth birthday fades into memory — a clear one — I've started talking to my second daughter about hers. It's not happening for another year, when she turns five. But planning is half the fun, and she's already started.

• I've visited over 90 countries, so I've heard (and asked) my fair share of tourist questions.
• There are eight awkward questions that I always found myself asking, no matter where I went.
• Now, I never plan a trip without looking up whether I can drink tap water or how I'll pay for goods.

There are few things more stressful than landing on the tarmac in a new country, realizing you're unprepared, and also feeling too embarrassed to ask for help.

I've seen fellow tourists struggle to ask the same questions again and again, like how to charge their phones or whether they can use public toilets.

As someone who's been to over 90 countries, I've also encountered many of these awkward situations firsthand — and learned a lot of answers the hard way.

Now, I make sure never to travel abroad without knowing the answers to these eight questions.

What are the public toilets like?

When I first started traveling, I quickly learned that there is no one right way to use the toilet.

Many Americans take the "porcelain throne" for granted, but in some parts of the world, it's common to squat over a hole in the ground.

I've also visited countries where it's customary to pay an attendant a nominal amount for a square or two of toilet paper. In some countries' restrooms, you won't find toilet paper at all — but instead, a bidet or bucket of water to wipe yourself clean.

To prepare for any and all bathroom situations, I try to bring a roll of toilet paper and plenty of hand sanitizer on every international trip.

Can I brush my teeth with tap water?

Many Americans, myself included, are used to turning on the tap and having fresh, clean water to drink and brush their teeth. However, this isn't the case everywhere.

My travel experiences have taught me that nothing will ruin a trip faster than gastrointestinal distress from unsafe drinking water. Now, before I travel, I always check the US Department of State website to see if I'll need to stick to bottled water.

If the country's tap water isn't safe to drink, I'll attach my toothbrush to a bottle with a rubber band. This helps me remember not to rinse my toothbrush under the tap — a mistake that's easy to make in the early morning.

Do I need to apply for a visa ahead of time?

If you have an American passport (like I do), you can visit some countries worldwide without being granted permission.

However, there are many exceptions. Countries like India, Cambodia, and China require Americans to apply for a visa before visiting; and as of this year, Americans and Canadians need an Electronic Travel Authorization to enter the UK.

To visit some countries, you'll have to go to a consulate and apply in person. For others, you can apply virtually.

If you don't have the right type of visa, you might not be allowed to board your plane — or you might even be turned away at the border.

As a frequent traveler, I always check whether I need a visa to travel as soon as I book a trip. Most countries' embassies will have this information on their websites.

How can I get cell service without paying a fortune?

When I'm traveling, I'm always terrified of being left without cellular service — but I also want to avoid pricy roaming fees and daily charges.

To save money, I usually use a service like Airalo or Holafly to purchase an eSIM card when I travel out of the country. That way, I can access a local carrier and control costs.

This method has worked for me all around the world. With an eSIM, I can still access my primary number's voicemail and text messages as long as I'm connected to WiFi.

How will I charge my devices?

Speaking of phones, you'll want to make sure you can actually charge your devices.

Outlets are different all around the world, and I've learned the hard way that even adapters labeled as "universal" usually aren't.

A quick online search will tell you which kind of adapter you need to stay powered up. Preparing ahead is important here — although airports usually sell adapters, they tend to be more expensive than ones you can order online.

Do I need to get any vaccines, or prepare for any potential illnesses?

I am up-to-date on all of the standard vaccines in the United States. However, several diseases that are largely under control in the US pose a significant threat abroad.

My years of travel have taught me to always check and see if I need any additional vaccines before a trip. In preparation for trips abroad, I've taken live typhoid pills and been vaccinated against yellow fever. For other trips, I've taken pills to prevent malaria.

At my doctor's recommendation, I've even packed antibiotics to bring to countries where they might not be readily available.

Visit the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's website to see which vaccines and medications are recommended for your destination. Once you know what you need, your local pharmacy may be able to order the recommended vaccines for you, or your primary care physician might be able to call in a prescription.

Will my credit cards work?

Many Americans are used to paying for just about anything they need with the swipe of a card — or even a phone if they use Apple Pay.

However, some countries are still largely cash-based societies. If that's the case where you are traveling, always come prepared with an ATM card — and make sure your bank account has enough cash.

Finally, keep your budget in mind. If you don't have a credit card specifically designed for travel, remember you may be hit with expensive foreign transaction fees for every purchase.

Are there any unusual laws I need to know about?

Through my travels, I've come across a lot of unexpected laws. For example, some countries in the Caribbean ban civilians from wearing camouflage. In France, you're not allowed to buy or even wear counterfeit clothing, including purses.

Moreover, some countries have restrictions on the type of medications you can bring in, even if they were legally prescribed in your home country.

It's important to me to respect local customs and stay on the right side of the law — so I always do a quick online search to see if there are any rules I need to know about before I travel.

• The first installment of the beloved "Lord of the Rings" trilogy came out in 2001.
• Several stars like Ian McKellen and Orlando Bloom reprised their roles in the "Hobbit" films.
• Sean Bean and Karl Urban have gone on to play iconic TV characters. 

Believe it or not, it's been over two decades since the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy wrapped in 2003.

The film franchise, based on the J. R. R. Tolkien novel of the same name, received critical acclaim — and also launched several actors' careers.

Since leaving Middle Earth, many of the franchise's stars have gone on to play other iconic roles. Here's a look at what the star-studded cast is up to today.

Elijah Wood played Frodo Baggins.

Wood played a hobbit named Frodo in the "Lord of the Rings" films. 

After inheriting the One Ring from his cousin Bilbo Baggins, Frodo bravely volunteers to take it to Mordor to be destroyed, kicking off the epic journey across Middle Earth.

Wood began acting at a young age and had several major film credits before "The Fellowship of the Ring" (2001), like "Flipper" (1996) and "Avalon" (1990).

Wood has since acted across a variety of genres.

Wood has stayed busy with movies of all genres, including the action-comedy "Spy Kids 3D: Game Over" (2003), romantic drama "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" (2004), animated musical "Happy Feet" (2006), and psychological slasher "Maniac" (2012). 

In 2010, Wood cofounded the production company SpectreVision, formerly known as The Woodshed, and has gone on to produce films like "A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night" (2014),  "Mandy" (2018), and "Color Out of Space" (2019).

In addition to his other career as a DJ, Wood still found time to work on projects like Cartoon Network's "Over the Garden Wall," "I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore" (2017), and "Come to Daddy" (2019).

These days, you can catch him in the ensemble cast of Showtime's "Yellowjackets."

Viggo Mortensen played Aragorn.

The Danish-American actor Mortensen played Aragorn — the son of Arathorn, heir of Isildur, and eventual King of Gondor. 

Aragorn is a member of the Fellowship and leads the fight against Sauron's army while the One Ring is being destroyed.

Before joining the "Lord of the Rings" cast, Mortensen had worked with directors like Peter Weir, Brian De Palma, Tony Scott, Ridley Scott, and Jane Campion. 

Fans would likely recognize him from films like "Young Guns II" (1990), "Crimson Tide" (1995), "The Portrait of a Lady" (1996), and "G.I. Jane" (1997).

Mortensen has been nominated for several Academy Awards.

Mortensen has since been nominated for best actor at the Academy Awards three times, for "Eastern Promises" (2007), "Captain Fantastic" (2016), and "Green Book" (2018), and has received numerous other honors. 

He made his feature directorial debut with the 2020 drama "Falling," which he also wrote, coproduced, and starred in opposite Lance Henriksen.

Most recently, the actor starred in "Eureka" (2023). 

Sean Bean played Boromir.

Bean played Boromir, the son of Denethor and a member of the Fellowship.

Boromir primarily appears in the first movie, as he dies defending Merry and Pippin against a horde of orcs after briefly allowing himself to be tempted by the One Ring.

Bean was previously known for his roles in action thrillers like "Patriot Games" (1992), "GoldenEye" (1995), and "Ronin" (1998).

Bean played another beloved fantasy character on "Game of Thrones."

After meeting his character's demise in "The Fellowship of the Ring," Bean appeared in "Equilibrium" (2002), portrayed Odysseus in "Troy" (2004), and chased Nicolas Cage in "National Treasure" (2004).

He went on to famously play Ned Stark on HBO's "Game of Thrones." 

More recently, he played Mr. Wilford on TNT's "Snowpiercer," John Parse in Brandon Cronenberg's 2020 sci-fi thriller "Possessor," and Ian on the BBC drama "Marriage."

Dominic Monaghan played Meriadoc "Merry" Brandybuck.

Monaghan played the troublesome hobbit Merry in the "Lord of the Rings" films. 

Merry is a hobbit from Frodo's village who finds himself leaving the Shire and joining Frodo's dangerous adventure.

He had acted in several TV movies, but "The Fellowship of the Ring" was Monaghan's big-screen debut. 

Monaghan had a major role on "Lost."

After concluding the film trilogy, Monaghan landed the role of Charlie Pace on ABC's "Lost" and appeared on the series until 2010.

After that, he hosted and produced the BBC wildlife docuseries "Wild Things With Dominic Monaghan" from 2012 to 2016.

He also starred in the video short for Eminem and Rihanna's "Love the Way You Lie," played a mutant in "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" (2009), and joined another major franchise when he appeared in "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker" (2019).

He voiced Archibald Desnay on Amazon Prime's 2022 animated adaptation of "Critical Role," "The Legend of Vox Machina." Most recently, he voiced an Orc in the animated "Lord of the Rings" prequel "The War of the Rohirrim" (2024).

Sean Astin played Samwise Gamgee.

Astin portrayed the loyal hobbit Samwise, Frodo's best friend. 

Save for a few brief separations, Sam is always by Frodo's side and risks his life many times to save his friends.

Astin had several notable credits before the fantasy franchise, famous for roles in films like "The Goonies" (1985) and "Rudy" (1993). 

Astin has worked on several major TV shows.

Astin has since done a lot of voice-over work for animated films and video games, even providing the voice for Raphael on Nickelodeon's "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

In 2017, he joined the second season of Netflix's "Stranger Things" as Joyce's love interest, Bob Newby.

He has several projects in the works, and he also recently played a recurring role on the sitcom "The Conners."

Ian McKellen played Gandalf.

If not for McKellen's character, the Fellowship would never have formed and likely would not have survived.

McKellen mainly began his professional acting career on the stage in the early 1960s. A year before the fantasy trilogy debuted, he joined the Marvel universe as Magneto in the "X-Men" franchise.

McKellen also appeared in the "Hobbit" films.

McKellen continued playing Magneto during and after the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, most recently in "X-Men: Days of Future Past" (2014).

The actor is one of the few "Lord of the Rings" cast members to also appear in the "Hobbit" films, reprising his role as the powerful wizard.

Some of McKellen's more recent turns include Cogsworth in the live-action "Beauty and the Beast" (2017) and Gus the Theatre Cat in "Cats" (2019).

He also has several recent theater credits in the UK, including "Hamlet" and "The Cherry Orchard."

John Rhys-Davies played Gimli.

The Welsh actor Rhys-Davies portrayed the dwarf warrior Gimli. 

Gimli is the representative for the dwarfs in the Fellowship and the son of Glóin, one of Bilbo's companions during the events of "The Hobbit."

Rhys-Davies, who also provided the voice of Treebeard in the films, previously played Sallah in several "Indiana Jones" films and Vasco Rodrigues on NBC's miniseries "Shogun," for which he received an Emmy nomination. 

Rhys-Davies has continued working on fantasy projects.

After "The Lord of the Rings," he appeared in a number of notable TV movies and on shows like Comedy Central's "TripTank."

There are a few other fantasy projects on his recent résumé, including ABC's "Once Upon a Time" and MTV's "The Shannara Chronicles." 

Rhys-Davies has also lent his voice to video games and animated projects like Guillermo del Toro's Netflix miniseries "Wizards" and the 2019 feature "Mosley."

Most recently, he voiced a character in "Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom" (2023).

Orlando Bloom played Legolas.

Bloom played the master archer and wood elf Legolas.

The arrow-wielding hero is also a member of the Fellowship and eventually becomes Gimli's best friend, even though dwarfs and elves historically hated each other.

Bloom was relatively unknown when he was cast in the trilogy, but between the first and second films, he appeared in "Black Hawk Down" (2002).

Bloom has played other action-packed roles.

Bloom famously played Will Turner in four of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" installments. 

Alongside McKellen, he also revisited the role of Legolas in the "Hobbit" films. 

In addition to other hit projects like "Troy" (2004) and "The Three Musketeers" (2011), the actor starred on the Amazon series "Carnival Row" as Rycroft Philostrate.

More recently, he starred in the action film "Red Right Hand" (2024).

Billy Boyd played Peregrin "Pippin" Took.

Boyd played Pippin, the immature best friend of Merry, and appeared in all three "Lord of the Rings" films. 

As a part of the Fellowship, his antics cause trouble for the group, but he always means well.

Boyd had primarily worked on television before he was cast in the first film of the trilogy and continued to do so in between the franchise's sequels.

Boyd continues making music and acting.

Boyd appeared in "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World" alongside Russell Crowe in 2003, the same year as "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King." 

The next year, he provided the voice of Glen and Glenda for the horror film "Seed of Chucky" (2004). 

Boyd is also a musician and got to write and perform a song for "The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies" (2014).

He was seen on episodes of FX's "Snowfall," ABC's "Grey's Anatomy," and Starz's "Outlander." He also appeared in the 2021 thriller "An Intrusion."

More recently, he voiced a character in the anime "Lord of the Rings" prequel, "The War of the Rohirrim."

Ian Holm played Bilbo Baggins.

The English actor Holm played Bilbo Baggins, the previous ring bearer. 

Bilbo is Frodo's guardian and cousin, and he is unnaturally old because of the effects of the One Ring.

Even before the film franchise, Holm was a Tony Award-winning actor, probably best known to fantasy and sci-fi fans for playing Ash in the Ridley Scott film "Alien" (1979).

Holm has starred in a variety of films.

After the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, Holm worked on an impressive array of films like "Garden State" (2004), "Lord of War" (2005), and "Ratatouille" (2007).

In 2020, Holm died at age 88 of complications related to Parkinson's disease.

Liv Tyler played Arwen Undómiel.

Tyler brought Arwen, daughter of Lord Elrond, to life on the big screen. The elf saves Frodo from the Black Riders and later marries Aragorn.

Before "The Fellowship of the Ring," Tyler had been in plenty of films, including "Stealing Beauty" (1996) and "Armageddon" (1998).

Tyler has since been on several hit shows.

Tyler joined another major franchise in 2008 as Betty Ross in Marvel's "The Incredible Hulk." In 2025, she reprised the role in "Captain America: Brave New World."

Elsewhere, Tyler played Meg Abbott on HBO's "The Leftovers," Lady Isabella Fitzwilliam on ITV-Hulu's "Harlots," Eve in the sci-fi thriller "Ad Astra" (2019), and Michelle Blake on Fox's "9-1-1: Lone Star."

Hugo Weaving played Lord Elrond.

Elrond, played by Weaving, is the Lord of Rivendell. The elf was there when Isildur claimed the One Ring and tried to get him to destroy it, to no avail.

Fans would likely recognize Weaving as Agent Smith in "The Matrix" films, a franchise that mostly ran at the same time as the "Lord of the Rings" movies. 

Weaving continues to act in blockbuster hits.

Weaving went on to play V in "V for Vendetta" (2006), voice Megatron in Michael Bay's "Transformers" films, and portray the Red Skull in "Captain America: The First Avenger" (2011). 

Weaving starred in the drama "Lone Wolf" and appeared on the Binge miniseries "Love Me" in 2021.

Most recently, he played the villainous Frank Harness in the thriller series "Slow Horses."

Cate Blanchett played Galadriel.

Blanchett portrayed Galadriel, Lady of the Golden Wood and grandmother to Arwen. 

In "The Fellowship of the Ring," she gives each traveler a special gift, including the "star-glass" that later proves useful against the giant spider.

Blanchett didn't get a ton of screen time in the films — only a minute and 23 seconds, according to Screen Rant. 

She had appeared in several movies before "The Lord of the Rings," like "Elizabeth" (1998) and "The Talented Mr. Ripley" (1999).

Blanchett is now an Academy Award-winning actor.

Immediately after "The Lord of the Rings," Blanchett appeared in "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou" (2004) and "The Aviator" (2004), which earned her an Oscar win. 

She racked up more nominations for "Notes on a Scandal" (2006), "I'm Not There" (2007), and "Elizabeth: The Golden Age" (2007) before winning another Oscar for "Blue Jasmine" (2013). 

Blanchett was nominated yet again for her work in "Carol" (2016) and played the activist Phyllis Schlafly in the FX miniseries "Mrs. America."

More recently, she starred in "Don't Look Up" (2021), "Tár" (2022), "Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio" (2022), and the TV series "Disclaimer" (2024).

Andy Serkis played Gollum.

Serkis' portrayal of Gollum was an impressive feat of motion-capture technology. 

Throughout the films, Gollum, originally known as Sméagol, is painted as an antagonist and a representation of the One Ring's consequences.

Before his performance in the trilogy, Serkis had been in several shows and films, like "Career Girls (1997)" and "Among Giants" (1998).

Serkis has appeared in other major film franchises.

Serkis reprised Gollum in "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" (2012) and did groundbreaking performance-capture work for the "Planet of the Apes" films. 

He then joined the Marvel Cinematic Universe in the flesh as Ulysses Klaue, provided the voice of Baloo in "Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle" (2018), and was Snoke in the recent "Star Wars" trilogy. 

Recently, Serkis played Alfred Pennyworth in "The Batman" alongside Robert Pattinson and Kino Loy on the Disney+ series "Andor."

Christopher Lee played Saruman.

A film legend, Lee took a notable turn as the wizard Saruman the White, who was introduced as a respectable ally but turned out to be a power-hungry pawn of Sauron.

Before his role in the fantasy films, he starred in many movies like "Sherlock Holmes and the Deadly Necklace" (1962) and "Count Dracula" (1977).

Lee acted in several other notable films.

After the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, Lee appeared in several films and shorts, like "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (2005) and "Hugo" (2011), before reprising his role as Saruman in "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey."

In 2015, Lee died at age 93 after being hospitalized for heart failure and respiratory problems.

Miranda Otto played Éowyn.

Otto played arguably one of the most important characters in the trilogy, Éowyn. 

Disguised as a Rider of Rohan, Éowyn, shield maiden of Rohan and daughter of Éomund, ultimately kills the Witch-king of Angmar during the Battle of the Pelennor Fields. 

Before her turn in the "Lord of the Rings" films, Otto appeared in movies like "The Well" (1998) and "The Thin Red Line" (1998).

Otto has acted on several series.

Shortly after the Middle Earth films, Otto appeared on-screen again in the 2005 adaptation of "War of the Worlds." 

She has since worked on films like "Annabelle: Creation" (2017) and miniseries like USA's "The Starter Wife," ABC's "Cashmere Mafia," and Fox's "24: Legacy." 

In 2018, she showed off her fantasy roots on the Netflix series "Chilling Adventures of Sabrina" as aunt Zelda Spellman.

Otto recently appeared on several TV miniseries, like SBS' "The Unusual Suspects." In 2024, she reprised her role of Éowyn in the "Lord of the Rings" prequel anime film, "The War of the Rohirrim."

John Noble played Denethor II.

Noble made playing a troublesome ruler look fun. The last viewers saw of Denethor, he was falling off a cliff on fire after he had tried burning his son alive.

Before the fantasy franchise, the actor had been on TV series and in films like "The Monkey's Mask" (2001).

Noble has since worked on several hit TV shows.

Noble is probably best known for playing Walter Bishop on the Fox series "Fringe." 

Like his "Lord of the Rings" costars Blanchett and Weaving, Noble also appeared as a guest on the ABC series "Rake" before signing longer stints on shows like Fox's "Sleepy Hollow," The CW's "DC's Legends of Tomorrow," and CBS' "Elementary." 

He also showed up as Billy Butcher's father on an episode of Amazon Prime's "The Boys."

More recently, he worked on Netflix's "Cowboy Bebop," Paramount+'s "Star Trek: Prodigy," and Apple TV+'s "Severance."

Karl Urban played Éomer.

Urban played Éomer, the leader of the Riders of Rohan who later becomes King of the Mark.

Before the trilogy, he played Julius Caesar on Syfy's "Xena: Warrior Princess" and appeared in several films.

Urban continues to make a name for himself as an action star.

Urban became an action-movie star shortly after "The Return of the King" with "The Chronicles of Riddick" (2004), followed by "The Bourne Supremacy" (2004) and "Doom" (2005). 

He later played Leonard "Bones" McCoy in "Star Trek" (2009) and continued his action-star legacy as the titular judge in "Dredd" (2012).

Urban plays Billy on "The Boys" — making Noble's guest appearance a "Lord of the Rings" reunion.

• We asked chefs for some of the best and worst ways to use ground beef in meals.
• Tacos, soups, and meat-based sauces can be filling and easy to prepare.
• They said you should avoid using prepackaged ground beef to make burgers or beef stroganoff.

Ground beef is a popular base for many meals, but they aren't all created equally.

So, we asked chefs for some of their favorite things to cook with ground beef and a few recipes they'd probably skip.

Bolognese sauce with pasta is simple and delicious.

Palak Patel, a chef with the Institute of Culinary Education, told Business Insider that one of her favorite easy weeknight dinners is a hearty Bolognese or Italian meat sauce served over pasta.

"It's very easy to make a small or large batch to freeze for later," Patel said, "because all you have to do is combine ground beef with herbs and tomato. You can cook it slowly on the stovetop, slow cooker, or even an Instant Pot."

For a lighter version of this dish that's perfect for warmer months, use fresh tomatoes instead of canned for the sauce.

Ground-beef tacos are easily customizable.

Jessica Randhawa, a chef with The Forked Spoon, told BI that ground beef can be a scrumptious taco filling.

"Ground-beef tacos are easy to make at home and can be full of flavor," she said. "Plus, you can control the fat content based on your personal needs by choosing leaner or fattier ground beef."

You can make an easy taco filling by simmering ground beef with tomato sauce and spices like paprika, garlic powder, and cumin. Add chopped vegetables or shredded cheese for extra flavor.

Cajun rice is a cheap and filling way to enjoy ground beef.

Cajun rice, also known as dirty rice for its color, is a traditional Louisiana Creole dish made with seasoned rice, chopped peppers, and spiced meat such as ground beef.

"Cajun rice is a great way to use ground beef," Randhawa said. "Though it's usually known as a spicy dish, you can omit spicy ingredients like jalapeño if you're sensitive to heat."

In addition to being a versatile meal that can easily be scaled up or down to feed groups of different sizes, Cajun rice is an ideal way to use up different cuts of meat — toss in leftover steak, sausage, or even chicken gizzards.

Meatballs are a classic way to showcase quality ground beef.

Mila Furman, a private chef and recipe developer with Girl and the Kitchen, told BI that meatballs are an ideal way to use high-quality ground beef.

"Meatballs are one of the most versatile meals to have in your [arsenal] as a chef," Furman said. "They're super simple to put together and will always be a hit for the whole table."

Whether you're making classic meatballs with tomato sauce or whipping up a batch of creamy Swedish meatballs, using ground beef with a slightly higher fat percentage will keep them juicy and tender.

Add ground beef to soup for extra protein.

If you're struggling to think of ways to use up a small portion of leftover ground beef, putting it in a soup may just be the answer.

"Using ground beef in soups isn't just for chili," Furman said. "Add ground beef — especially in the form of leftover meatballs — into soup with plenty of hearty vegetables for a complete meal."

Lasagna can keep ground beef from tasting dry or overcooked.

A great way to infuse prepackaged ground beef with tons of moisture and flavor is to bake it into a lasagna.

"Lasagna is a versatile ground-beef meal because it's very hearty and works well with all kinds of veggies, like mushrooms, squash, or corn," Patel said. "Plus, you can add a fried egg on top to turn leftovers into a weekend brunch."

On the other hand, you shouldn't use a typical package of ground beef to make burgers.

Patel said that using an average grocery-store package of ground beef to make burgers is a mistake.

"It is important to know the type of beef that you're buying," Patel said. "Prepackaged grocery-store ground beef is not processed daily or in-house, so the resulting burgers tend to be dry and chewy."

Instead of grabbing a package of ground beef, ask the deli or butcher to grind a portion of quality beef for you. Cuts such as chuck steak usually have a better ratio of fat to lean meat, which makes for a juicier burger.

It can be difficult to make good beef stroganoff with ground beef.

Beef stroganoff is traditionally made with sautéed pieces of whole beef, but some recipes call for ground beef instead. Unfortunately, this variation is hard to get right.

"This is a very classic recipe for ground beef, but often the beef is left bland and dry while the delicate egg noodles are overcooked," Patel said.

Patel added that if the ratio of cream to beef is not balanced, this dish can become overly creamy and even soggy.

Steak tartare is tricky to prepare at home, and it isn't always safe to eat.

Steak tartare is made with lightly seared or raw ground beef, usually served as a patty topped with a raw egg yolk.

Randhawa said home chefs — and restaurant diners — should generally avoid steak tartare for safety reasons.

"Unlike other raw-meat recipes from around the world, steak tartare does not include an acidic citrus juice," Randhawa said. Acidic citrus juice can cause meat to seem somewhat cooked, but it doesn't actually make it entirely safe to eat.

"Uncooked meat can have both dangerous parasites and potentially life-threatening bacteria," Randhawa added.

You may want to avoid adding warm ground beef to chilled salads.

Some salad recipes call for ground beef as a topping. But the temperature difference between warm ground beef and a cold salad can cause the melted fats in the meat to solidify.

"Do not put ground beef in your salads if you can help it," Furman said. "You often end up with a situation where beef fat leaks down through the greens and congeals."

You could avoid this stomach-turning scenario by chilling the cooked ground beef beforehand.

This story was originally published on June 2, 2023, and most recently updated on June 9, 2025.

• After working remotely from Bali for two months, Sonya Moore was craving peace and quiet.
• She traveled with a friend to the neighboring island of Sumba.
• The natural beauty, lack of traffic, and smaller number of tourists made for a great getaway.

In March, I decided to take advantage of my flexible schedule and spend two months in Bali, working remotely and exploring the island.

I had already visited Bali many times, and I'm a big fan. But over the years, as its fame has spread, it has become busier. Bali's iconic charm and unique energy are still there, but they now coexist with big crowds and heavy traffic.

During my time there, I relished much of what Bali has to offer: yoga, massages, sound baths, authentic spiritual traditions, gorgeous style, and delicious food. I found pockets away from the crowds in the less-developed regions of Bangli and Sidemen. But after a few weeks in Ubud and south Bali, I found myself craving peace and quiet — specifically, a break from the ever-present sound of motorbike engines.

Luckily, I had planned to wrap up my time in Indonesia with a weeklong side trip to the nearby island of Sumba with a friend.

Overpopulation was no longer a problem

Sumba is a 90-minute direct flight from Denpasar International Airport. It's about twice the size of Bali, has one-sixth of Bali's population, and a fraction of its tourists.

It's also known for limited WiFi and cell service across large swaths of its undeveloped territory. There's no signage on the main roads indicating the island's scenic spots, making it hard for visitors to find them without a local guide. We hired a guide my friend found through Facebook, and we're glad we did.

Sumba's natural beauty lived up to our expectations. The rock-framed sandy coves, the turquoise lagoon, the landscapes of velvety green hills, and the waterfalls left my friend and me in awe. We were charmed by goats lounging by the side of the road and by horses meandering across expanses of golden savannah.

And most of the time, we had the sights all to ourselves. Sometimes, groups of local kids would come over to talk to us. The roads were free of traffic.

Along with the absence of tourists and traffic came the absence of extensive food and massage options, which we had grown accustomed to in Bali. I never found wine or cocktails anywhere in Sumba, though I imagine they're available at the handful of 5-star hotels on the island.

Most people in Sumba didn't speak much English, including our guide, so we needed translation apps to communicate most of the time. When there was no cell service, we had to resort to hand gestures.

And punctuality? We found out that it's not a thing in Sumba. Our driver tended to show up 15 to 20 minutes after our agreed departure time, then order himself a coffee before we left, then stop to pick up his breakfast at a roadside shop or get gas. He was an excellent drone videographer and photographer, though, which helped make up for his relaxed sense of time.

A true mental reset

Our four-day guided Sumba road trip covered a lot of ground.

After the road trip, we spent three nights at a boutique hotel on a deserted stretch of white sand beach in East Sumba, about an hour from the airport, and it was there that we found total relaxation.

Shaded by tall cemara trees, the temperature was perfect both day and night. We were lulled to sleep every night by the sound of gentle ocean waves lapping the shore.

Our hotel, Cemara Beachfront Suite, was $80 per night and came with great service. The staff brought us tea with little desserts every afternoon and were always ready to provide any extras we asked for to make our stay more enjoyable. Except wine. Next time, I'd bring a bottle or two in my suitcase, along with a good book.

The attentive care of the staff and the idyllic setting allowed us to completely unwind and fully enjoy just being there. We could have happily stayed much longer.

Sumba's wild beauty and serene relaxation provided the perfect complement to Bali.

• My maiden name is Lee Kelly, and people used my names interchangeably.
• I was named after my maternal grandfather and given his last name as my middle name.
• When I got engaged, I was sure I'd be taking my future husband's name.

"Kelly Lee!" chirped my 9th-grade algebra teacher during roll call, just as she had every day of the school year. But this time, a giggle rippled through the class.

When Ms. Wade — a woman who brooked no nonsense — demanded to be let in on the joke, a classmate blurted out, "That's not her name!"

My name was an honor and a headache

My maiden name is Lee Kelly. I used to joke that I had two last names and two first names because people used my two names interchangeably. Since Lee is traditionally a man's name, and I am not a man, people would look at me, see my name, and automatically flip my name around.

The male name was intentional. My parents named me after my maternal grandfather, who was sick when I was born and died when I was a year old. Carrying his name was an honor and a pain in my daily life. And I couldn't use my middle name to help bail me out. It was Pallardy, my grandfather's last name, giving me a full name that was all surnames. My family takes honorary naming very literally.

So I was stuck being Kelly Lee.

Kelly Lee could pop up anywhere — in school, mail, phone calls, or other interactions with strangers. Sometimes, I corrected the error. But a lot of the time, I didn't even bother. Even though the mistake drove me crazy, it didn't seem worth the energy to call out the other person.

It got to the point that I responded to "Kelly" just as readily as I responded to "Lee." The only thing that would end my name duality was a legal name change.

I knew I would take my husband's last name

When my husband and I got engaged, I was 100% ready to take his name. I had no qualms about shedding my family identity. There were no feminist hesitations about the patriarchal expectation to subvert my identity for my husband's. I wasn't going to be Kelly Lee anymore.

My husband's last name is O'Connell, and it was perfect. It wasn't weird or unattractive. When paired with my first name, it would have no unfortunate associations or sounds (think Lee Oswald or Lee Roy). And there was no way anyone would confuse it for a first name. I would never have to correct anyone about my name again. I would never be O'Connell Lee.

No one gets it wrong now

In the 14 years I've been married, I haven't had to correct someone about my name once. I am always Lee, never Kelly. My ears don't prick up when I hear "Kelly" anymore, and I don't feel compelled to answer to any name besides my own.

Strangely, I received a letter addressed to Kelley Lee O'Connell two years ago. When I took my husband's name, I followed the convention of making my maiden name my middle name, mostly so I had a female name somewhere in there. As soon as I saw that letter, I texted a photo to the high school friend who sat next to me in algebra, the one person who jokingly calls me Kelly Lee to this day. "She does exist!" I exclaimed.

Weighed against all the problems in the world, having people get my name wrong is pretty insignificant. It was a minor irritation that never meaningfully impeded my day.

What bothered me about it was that so many people were willing to initiate an interaction or a relationship with me based on an assumption of who I was or who they thought I should be. And that assumption was wrong. It would've been more refreshing and more generous to have them get curious about who I am, to explore whether my reality challenged their assumptions.

Now that it's behind me, it's easy to consider my double name as a quirky blip from my past, compared to my present ease of always being Lee and never Kelly. People occasionally still assume I'm a man, so you can't win everything.

• I grew up seeing my mom and grandmother rummage for sales and treasures.
• My kids are teens now, and they know to look for what we call "roadside treasures."
• Picking up things from the side of the road saves my family money.

I was conducting an interview over Zoom recently when my teenage daughter called me twice in a row. Worried that something was wrong, I texted her, "In a meeting, emergency?" to which she replied, "No, just a good table on the side of the road." This cracked me up and is so on brand for my family.

I grew up with a mother and a grandmother who would scour church rummage sales for antiques and other treasures. My mom even recruited me to help out at her church's rummage sale a few times, as volunteers were able to shop the sale before the public (and therefore, snag the best items).

Now that my kids are teenagers, they're always on the lookout for "roadside treasures," especially after estate sales, when framed art, plant stands, and garden tools are discarded. We're happy to load these into the minivan and use them in our home.

Roadside discards saved me money when my kids were little

When my three kids were toddlers, I outfitted our backyard with kid-sized slides, a picnic table, and a teeter-totter that was supposed to look like a whale — all rescued from the side of the road.

With three kids in day care at the same time, I was always looking for ways to save money and avoid making large purchases, especially of items that would only be used for a short period. I felt good about not buying new giant plastic toys, only to toss them a few years later.

One of my best finds was the three Cozy Coupes I found over a series of months of scouring my neighborhood (because you can't get just one when you have three kids close in age). Once all three were secured, we transformed them, à la Pimp My Ride, with paint, decals, custom license plates, and streamers from the Dollar Tree.

The personalized kiddie cars even made the move with us from Illinois to California, as they were my kids' favorites. Eventually, my kids outgrew them, and all three cars were scooped up from our front yard "free" pile to be used by other neighborhood kids.

I find the best items on 'large item' pickup days

We now live in the San Francisco Bay Area, adjacent to some bougie neighborhoods, where I've found backyard furniture, an antique card table, and animal-carrying cages that my kids can use for their 4-H project.

Skateboards and scooters are often discarded, so we've collected quite a few over the years (and then donated them back). I love the idea that these items are just on loan from the universe, to be used by the next kid after mine.

The best are when the neighborhoods near us have free "large item" pickup days. Regular trash pickup only includes the trash bins you have paid for, but on "large item" days, you can put out whatever you like, including furniture, mattresses, e-waste, and building materials.

On these special pickup days, you can find so many things that shouldn't be going to the dump. My middle son needed a new bed frame, and we were able to find one on the side of the road that even came with all the necessary hardware to assemble it, tucked in a Ziplock bag.

Some items, like mattresses and rugs, are off-limits in my mind, but you can find many great things that people no longer use.

Saving money and helping keep things out of the dump

I'm an active member of my neighborhood Buy Nothing group, where we post items we're gifting and even ask for items we need. I recently posted a few wetsuits my kids outgrew, and they were quickly scooped up from my front porch by grateful parents.

When my daughter expressed interest in starting guitar lessons, I was hesitant to purchase a guitar, in case it was a fleeting interest. I posted in the Buy Nothing group and was able to pick up a guitar from a neighbor later that day.

Being open to finding free things instead of purchasing them has saved me a significant amount of money over the years, and it also helps us lead a more sustainable lifestyle. While I could certainly donate items to our local Goodwill, I prefer knowing that someone will actually use these items and they won't be scrapped.

• I'm a digital nomad and met my partner in Argentina two years ago.
• We talked daily for the next eight months, and I decided to return to Argentina in 2024.
• We fell in love and are building a life together in an unconventional way, but it works for us.

When I started traveling full-time almost four years ago, I promised myself I'd go on dates, but I also knew that a long-term relationship was out of the question.

As a digital nomad and freelance writer, I get the unique opportunity to travel all over the world and write about my experiences. It's truly a dream job, but sacrifices and tradeoffs must always be made — like relationships.

How could I develop a meaningful connection if I only spend one or two months in a city at a time? Even if I did find someone I wanted to pursue a future with, I knew I was unwilling to change my lifestyle. Full-time travel is a dream that I can't give up.

All of that changed when I met my partner.

I found love unexpectedly in Argentina

I spent the first few months of 2023 in Argentina, one of my favorite countries in the world.

In February, I received a message on Grindr, which is notoriously known as a gay hookup app with a low success rate for relationships. Still, I hoped for something more, and I figured if I was on the app, there must also be a couple of other people like me out there.

Over the next few days, I started chatting with this person, who introduced himself as Lauti. He asked me out on a date, but unfortunately, I was leaving Buenos Aires to go to a different city in Argentina the following morning. I told him I'd be back in six weeks, and we decided to meet then.

The day after I flew back to Buenos Aires, we went on our first date, and something clicked. For the next three weeks, we embarked on a whirlwind romance and were virtually inseparable.

Then, I packed up and flew to Mexico, and even though we liked each other, I knew nothing could realistically come from it. We decided to take things one day at a time and not put a label on anything — just see what happened while I was traveling.

Our relationship blossomed as I continued to travel

As the days went on, the texting and phone calls continued. After Mexico, I flew to Europe for the summer, and even with five or six hour time differences, we found ourselves prioritizing each other and making space for video call dates, life updates, and deeper conversations. Despite the distance, things got more serious month after month, and I realized I was essentially in a long-distance relationship.

So, I planned my return to Argentina for January 2024 — eight months after I left. We finally put a label on what we both felt, and a few weeks later, he told me he loved me for the first time. We faced yet another goodbye in April when I left for Peru. Luckily, this period of long-distance was short since he came to visit a month later for his birthday in May.

Then, we went seven months without seeing each other while I was off exploring Europe, Asia, and Australia. He came to Colombia in December 2024 for our first holiday season together, which was every bit as magical as we hoped it would be. I returned to Argentina at the end of January this year, and we've lived together for the past four months.

Luckily, our time apart seems to be getting shorter each year. I'll leave Argentina in a few weeks, and we will be apart for just three months.

Navigating an unconventional relationship

Each long-distance period has its challenges. During the first stint, we were still getting to know each other, which made communication tricky. The second time, we were much better at communicating, but it was more challenging in its own way. I often don't know where I'll live in a few months' time, so it's impossible to know when we will be together again.

Even so, we're embracing the challenges of a long-distance relationship. How do we prioritize seeing each other? How do we balance two different cultures? How can we accomplish our own goals while still growing together? These questions don't have simple answers, and they are constantly evolving.

Some aspects of our relationship progressed quickly, while others have been harder to nurture due to my lifestyle. However, this has become our normal, making us appreciate our time together so much more. In our time apart, we still prioritize each other, but also spend time planning our future and growing individually.

I had an idea of what a relationship was supposed to be, and I thought that a nomadic lifestyle would be antithetical to that ideal. I've realized there isn't a perfect relationship, and I can accomplish two things simultaneously: a loving relationship and an unwavering desire to see every corner of the world. I don't have to sacrifice one to achieve the other, but I must be intentional with my time.

• After taking a career break, I had to jump back into the job market.
• I used ChatGPT to find open roles, write my résumé and cover letter, and prepare for interviews.
• I landed my dream job in AI, making it a full-circle moment.

After a well-deserved career break, I decided it was time to look for a new job. The only problem was that I had last done this 10 years ago, and job hunting was a completely different game then.

In 2025, everything has changed, from how roles are advertised to how candidates are evaluated. LinkedIn isn't just an optional platform anymore. It's seemingly essential. Companies are using automated systems to screen résumés, and social media presence matters more than ever. The landscape has drastically changed, becoming more digital and competitive than ever before.

Facing this entirely new scenario was daunting. The old rules didn't apply, and the anxiety of navigating this new environment quickly set in. I realized I needed help, something or someone, to guide me through these uncharted waters.

I decided to adapt using the very technology shaping the new job market: AI.

Embracing AI to redefine my career path

After years of working as a lawyer, embracing AI felt like venturing into foreign territory, but it also felt exciting. I'd read countless stories about people using AI for everything from meal planning to writing novels, but I wondered how effective it could be for finding a job.

My first step was to have an in-depth conversation with ChatGPT to help identify exactly what I wanted next in my career. After a much-needed career break, I knew I wanted something that bridged my interests in technology and law, but the specifics were blurry.

Through a lengthy dialogue with the AI, during which we discussed my strengths, interests, and professional goals, I was able to clarify exactly what I was looking for. ChatGPT helped me pinpoint roles that sat neatly at the intersection of legal practice and emerging technologies, creating a tailored shortlist of companies and positions that genuinely excited me.

Leveraging AI for résumés, cover letters, and interviews

Armed with this newfound clarity, it was time to get practical. I turned again to ChatGPT, this time for help with polishing my résumé, crafting standout cover letters, and preparing for interviews.

Starting with my résumé, I fed ChatGPT my old document alongside descriptions of the roles I was targeting. Within minutes, it transformed my résumé into a crisp, impactful summary of my professional achievements. It suggested action-oriented language and quantified outcomes, things I hadn't thought to highlight on my own. My previously bland document suddenly felt dynamic and compelling, accurately reflecting my experience and capabilities.

Next, I tackled the dreaded cover letters. Each application felt like writing a small autobiography, a tedious task I usually procrastinated endlessly on. With ChatGPT, the experience transformed. I provided basic details about the role and why I was interested, and the AI-generated, polished, tailored cover letters genuinely sounded like me, only better. Minor tweaks aside, the AI-driven drafts were ready to send out immediately, saving me countless hours of stress and editing.

Then came mock interviews. ChatGPT proved invaluable here, simulating realistic interview scenarios and offering insightful feedback on my responses. It didn't just spit out generic interview questions. It tailored them specifically to each role, asking about industry trends, hypothetical scenarios, and even personal motivations. The AI coached me through my answers, helping me refine my responses to ensure they were concise, authentic, and impactful.

Landing the ideal job: Full circle with AI

The impact of these preparations was swift and substantial. Within just two months of starting this tech-driven job hunt, I secured a role at a cutting-edge tech company developing AI specifically designed for lawyers. It felt surreal yet perfectly aligned. After all, my journey began and ended with artificial intelligence.

This role wasn't just a paycheck. It was a full-circle moment, merging my long-standing passion for law with my newly sparked enthusiasm for technology.

Would I use AI to job hunt again? Absolutely. In fact, I can't imagine tackling such a stressful process without it. AI didn't just streamline tedious tasks. It empowered me to present myself authentically and strategically in a fiercely competitive market. It took the overwhelm out of job hunting, making the process not only manageable but surprisingly enjoyable.

In a world increasingly defined by technology, leveraging AI in your career search isn't just clever. It's becoming essential.

Whether you're pivoting careers, re-entering the workforce, or just exploring new opportunities, AI could be the ally you never knew you needed. For me, embracing AI was the smartest professional decision I made in years, proving that sometimes the best way to adapt to change is to lean into it fully.

• My parents met while traveling in 1971 and were married six months later.
• I've learned a lot from their marriage of over 50 years that has inspired me in my own marriage.
• They've shown me that conflict is healthy and normal, and so is having different interests.

My parents recently celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary. They met while traveling through Spain in 1971 and married six months later.

My mom has always said it hasn't all been rainbows and butterflies. But they've worked through the hard times and persevered with their marriage, even when things have been tough.

Though I'd always secretly been terrified of commitment, I was also lucky enough to have their solid example of what a strong marriage could look like, and I married Sam — the love of my life — in 2015. The lessons I've learned by watching my parents' marriage have made it all the easier to walk in their footsteps, and now Sam and I have been happily married for a decade.

They taught me it's OK to have different interests

Aside from their shared passion for travel, my parents are opposites in so many ways. My mom loves art and languages, going to the theatre, and watching movies.

My dad, on the other hand, has always enjoyed playing and watching sports, collecting stamps, and doing crosswords. In his 50s, he randomly decided he wanted to run a marathon and ended up doing four. My mom has never run a day in her life.

However, they share a few fundamental values that have always kept them on the same page: a love of learning and acquiring general knowledge, a belief in seizing the day and making the most out of each moment, the importance of keeping the flame alive, and the belief that family always comes first, no matter what.

My husband and I are also polar opposites in many ways, but like my parents, our core values are aligned.

Growing up, I saw that conflict is normal and healthy

While I was growing up, my folks often had heated arguments. Sometimes, there would even be periods where they weren't speaking together because they needed to cool off.

However, my parents always resolved the issue with respect and open communication. Through watching them, I learned that conflict in a long-term relationship is unavoidable and normal. There are bound to be differences in opinion, values, needs, and wants, but it's how you handle and resolve the conflict that matters.

They showed me the importance of space in a relationship

My parents have always made a habit of giving each other space — space to pursue hobbies they enjoy, space to travel independently, and time alone to recharge when needed.

My mom is hugely independent. During my childhood, she worked hard, saved up, and took my sisters and me on international trips while my dad stayed home and continued working. She's always said that it's important to be your own person and to follow your dreams.

My husband and I are similar in that we both have our own interests and give each other space in our relationship. We take turns going on solo international kid-free holidays, then come back recharged and ready for family life. Having downtime from each other helps us to keep the spark alive and to appreciate what we do have even more.

I know that marriage takes work

No marriage is perfect. Most of us derail at some point in our relationships, but if you truly love each other, you can usually get it back on track.

I know there have been times when my parents' marriage has been on the rocks. There have been enormous life challenges to navigate, and both of my parents would admit they've made mistakes.

But ultimately, they love each other deeply. This all-consuming, enduring love has helped them tackle every hurdle together and emerge stronger.

Of all the lessons they've taught me about relationships, this was the most important: Love is worth fighting for. Always.

• My mom was recently diagnosed with Stage 3 uterine cancer and is going through chemotherapy.
• I join her for each chemotherapy treatment, and we talk about her exciting days in the Air Force.
• Her stories are the remedy we needed. They are helping us both cope with the pain.

As a child, my mother had a habit of pointing out various military planes in the sky and explaining their names and purposes.

I heard those same planes zoom overhead on various military bases when I watched her, clad in an Air Force uniform with her short red hair peeking out stubbornly under her hat, command the respect of fellow officers with an ease I admired.

It seemed like nothing could phase her — when it came to overseeing aircraft maintenance squadrons, Lieutenant Colonel Stinson — my mother — was in her element.

How ironic it was that after everything she faced fearlessly in the Air Force, cancer was the one thing that scared her.

Hearing my mom had cancer was a shock

Having retired as a lieutenant colonel after 20 years of service in the early 2000s, my mom had enjoyed post-retired life in San Antonio.

Early this year, she told me of pains in her abdomen that were unbearable. Her doctor recommended a hysterectomy, and during her operation, the doctor removed a large cancerous tumor on her uterus. However, some of her lymph nodes also looked concerning, so some biopsies were taken.

After her hysterectomy, my mom seemed more energetic, returning to the vibrant woman I remembered. During the two-week wait for those biopsy results, I truly believed they wouldn't show cancer. I was wrong.

One of her lymph nodes had cancer. Hearing the Stage 3 uterine cancer diagnosis shattered my delusion. A sense of shock surged through my body that left me feeling strangely numb. I heard the doctor say, "Chemo," and "hair loss," and after weeks of holding back tears, I started to cry.

No prescription can ease the shock of a loved one's cancer diagnosis. However, stories from my mother's past have become the remedy we sorely needed, as I sit with her through each chemotherapy treatment.

We got to talk a lot about the past during her treatment

The older I got, the more I told myself that I would record her story one day, but time slipped by. Then, when I heard the doctor diagnose her with cancer, time seemed more finite.

"You were doing the 'Captain Marvel' thing before it was cool," I'd told her one day while we were sitting in the chemotherapy treatment center.

Becoming a commissioned officer in the Air Force after college had always been my mom's dream. But as she jokingly told me, the Air Force wasn't exactly seeking experts in radio—her major in school.

Instead, there was a greater demand for aircraft maintenance officers. So, after graduating, she found herself in maintenance school — a path she hadn't planned for — and nearly failed out. Still, she was determined to succeed.

Despite the initial setback, my mom slowly but surely rose up the ranks. A combination of her hard work and aptitude for leadership, recognized by the performance boards of her superiors, determined who should be promoted.

Watching her eyes light up with every story she tells is medicine my heart didn't know it needed.

I had taken the stories for granted

My mom had repeatedly told me that she had two major life goals — one was to serve her country. The other was to be a mother.

She had dealt with her fair share of workplace sexism during her tenure, rode in a fighter jet twice as a passenger (another requirement for officers in maintenance squadrons), fallen asleep in cargo planes, helped found a Logistics Scho, overseen the flyover for the late senator Barry Goldwater's funeral, and been invited to be a White House aide.

I had taken her stories for granted growing up, and now I hungered for more of my mother's memories: how a wing commander visited her in the hospital after she gave birth to me, seeing a picture of her in uniform, back turned to the camera, walking toward a fighter jet with her hair firmly in place.

Lost in a sea of memories that weren't mine, I felt a spark reignite in my soul, a fire that had dimmed ever since I had heard the cancer diagnosis. Her stories kept the blaze of the future alight in us both, something more powerful than any fighter jet engine could muster.

My mother has always been a fighter, and she still is. I was doing her a disservice by being sad.

• Lester V. Ledesma is a photographer and has been traveling across Southeast Asia for almost 30 years.
• He says places like Bali have struggled with overtourism, while Myanmar has faced political turmoil.
• But there are three cities — Siem Reap, Ipoh, and Hanoi — that he feels have improved over the years.

I've spent nearly 30 years traveling around Southeast Asia, long enough to witness just how much the region has transformed.

Over the years, I've watched destinations rise and fall. Some began as exotic tourism gems, but now struggle with overtourism — Bali is a good example of this.

Other cities, like Bangkok, remain perennial tourist magnets, managing to thrive thanks to careful resource management. Then there are the places that showed great promise when they opened to the world — I'm looking at you, Myanmar — only to become no-go zones due to political turmoil.

Nonetheless, there are a few special spots in Southeast Asia that I often revisit. Like well-made coconut wine, these three seem to get better as the years go by.

1. Siem Reap, Cambodia

When I first visited Siem Reap in 2003, it was something of a cowboy town, with more bicycles than cars. "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider," starring Angelina Jolie, had been released a few years earlier, with scenes filmed at Angkor Wat, but the city still wasn't a common feature on the average bucket list.

Back then, its main landmark was Psar Chas — the old market — and the soon-to-be-renamed Pub Street was still just a jumble of guesthouses and restaurants that serviced mostly budget travelers.

Marijuana-laced "happy pizza" was a common item on menus, and there were even places that delivered straight to your room.

Two decades later, the hippie backpacker vibe has been greatly diminished, replaced by a more cosmopolitan collection of chic boutique hotels standing beside wine bars, hipster cafés, and restaurants boasting cuisine from all over the world.

These days, Siem Reap is basking in the glow of a post-COVID era facelift that widened the main roads and beautified the city's parks. To the east, the recently built Siem Reap-Angkor International Airport — which opened in October 2023 — has replaced the smaller landing strip that stood close to the city.

Despite more tourists, Angkor's UNESCO World Heritage sites are also managed better with an online booking app that lets you buy entrance passes without having to join the long lines. There's also more effective crowd control, especially in popular spots like Angkor Wat and the Bayon.

Clearly marked walkways and "no entry" signs help keep visitors from getting lost. Angkor may no longer offer the "lost jungle ruin" experience of decades past, but stricter regulations help ensure the preservation.

2. Ipoh, Malaysia

I remember when Lonely Planet's "Southeast Asia on a Shoestring" edition described Ipoh — a city in Malaysia about 120 miles north of Kuala Lumpur — as "so seedy you're unlikely to linger." Decades ago, I walked through the old quarter of this city and found little more than crumbling shophouses set alongside grand-but-aging colonial-era buildings.

Still reeling from the collapse of its industry in the '80s, this once-affluent tin mining community didn't seem to be doing too well. In fact, it had a hint of seediness that kept me from lingering too long.

Thankfully, much has improved since then. Renewed interest in local heritage sparked an urban revival that restored the city's venerable old structures. Colorful street murals added a quirky charm, making Ipoh an essential stopover for travelers in Malaysia on the Malacca-Kuala Lumpur-Penang route.

Nowadays, the city's rediscovered nostalgia is everywhere on display, from stylish B&Bs like the Sekeping Kong Heng — built on top of a still-operating vintage coffeeshop — to the ever-busy Concubine Lane where antique shophouses play host to numerous craft and souvenir stores.

And one of Malaysia's oldest bars — the 94-year-old Sinhalese Bar — still keeps its after-work crowd despite being surrounded by newfangled, IG-friendly espresso bars and watering holes. Ipoh's growing tourism industry has so far remained manageable, and I'm thankful that this picturesque heritage city has kept its soul.

3. Hanoi, Vietnam

When I first visited in 2007, I struggled to like Hanoi. At that point, it had not yet become a mainstream tourist destination.

Sure, it had interesting neighborhoods and a vibrant street scene, but I found locals in Vietnam's capital to be cold and indifferent toward outsiders. At times, it felt like everyone — taxi drivers, market vendors, even public toilet attendants — was just waiting to make a quick buck off me.

Maybe my not-so-great first impression had something to do with Vietnam's tough postwar years, when the country had to fend for itself.

But fast-forward 18 years, and the city feels completely different.

Hanoi has not lost any of its timeless character, and its ancient corner temples and ornate French colonial-era mansions still proudly display their patina.

Motorbikes continue to zoom recklessly, and conical hat-wearing vendors still roam the streets with their merchandise on their shoulders. But today's Hanoi seems to have put on a friendlier face.

Since my first visit, the city has upgraded its infrastructure and services to a more international standard. A new metro now provides a direct connection to the countryside, while price-regulated taxis and regular buses now transport travelers from the airport.

Young Hanoians come across to me as more welcoming, offering more smiles and fewer scowls. In fact, during recent trips, I've had random folks help me navigate fish-out-of-water situations. Like when a local customer scolded a noodle vendor who was trying to rip me off. There was also a friendly couple at a dessert stall who proudly taught me how to order ca phe in Vietnamese.

Friendly interactions like these — a quick translation, a helpful tip, or even a friendly chat — now color my view of the storied and beautiful city.

• After 14 years of working in public service, I just started a new career.
• With my new job, I'm outside my comfort zone, but it feels invigorating.
• The change has inspired me to get my kids more involved in the community.

I started to crumble when I was forced to change careers after 14 years of service in local government. I had worked and planned for a life of public service, but then life happened, and suddenly, I was in a new career field and way out of my depths.

The sudden change in careers forced me to take a hard look at how I had been living for the last 14 years. While I was reflecting and mourning my old professional life, I started to notice some other areas in my life that I wanted to change — mainly, my parenting.

Now that I'm in a new career and living outside my comfort zone, I'm pushing my kids to do the same so that we all grow together.

I've started a new job after years in the same career

After a decade in the same, stagnant public service position, my ambition got activated. Suddenly, I was applying for promotions, volunteering for projects, attending leadership seminars, and making myself into the traditional idea of a government professional.

I was given an opportunity to further those ambitions in a new role in a different city. But when that opportunity didn't work out, my 14-year career path came to an end.

I spent weeks analyzing where I went wrong. Were those ambitions ever really dreams of mine, or were they pursued because my peers and co-workers were pursuing the same paths? Was I ever good enough to do this work in the first place? Was this career ever really what I wanted?

That's when I decided to switch careers from public service to research and development. The change has felt like learning to pilot a commercial airline while having the professional credentials of a circus entertainer. But the challenge has been surprisingly invigorating.

It's making me consider how stagnant my professional life has become. Routines have been in place for years, and maybe the comfort of that familiarity is starting to become a hindrance to further growth. That realization made me wonder about how stagnant I am becoming as a parent.

I'm pushing my kids to get outside their comfort zone, too

Take community participation, for example. Despite being involved in Scouts and various church activities, my family had managed to be almost completely absent from most volunteer events and neighborhood activities. We had work (or school). We had extracurriculars, and the rest of the time was ours.

That had worked for us. But while I'm currently spending my work hours getting pushed further out of my comfort zone, I decided my family needed a similar shake-up if they were going to grow.

I should note here that both of my boys were already highly accomplished at school and their respective activities before my mid-life crisis arrived, so the decision to get them more involved in the community was equally based on addressing my own parenting weaknesses and a desire to provide them with new experiences and growth opportunities.

When summer arrives, I'm hoping to get the whole family involved in some kind of community service, like working in a soup kitchen or a community garden. We've been taking greater advantage of the opportunities presented through the Scouting organization, like weekend field trips and merit badge mini-camps.

I've already seen both boys grow as people through those experiences. But only time will tell if these decisions were made as a responsible father or someone struggling with their own career and life anxieties.

• I tried four different brands of buttery spread from the grocery store to see which I liked best.
• I didn't think Smart Balance or Earth Balance were very spreadable or particularly impressive.
• Country Crock was my favorite spread, and it was easy to work with.

I grew up on "buttery spreads," butter alternatives typically made with some blend of vegetable oils. We put them on everything from bread and mashed potatoes to corn on the cob.

As I've grown up, I've started using real butter for its rich flavor and creamy texture. I keep some in a covered dish on the counter for a spreadable option and some in the fridge for whenever I need it chilled.

I figured all buttery spreads tasted the same, but I decided to revisit my childhood and try four different brands to see if there are any standouts worth keeping in my fridge.

Since each container retails for just over $3 at Walmart, I didn't factor price into my review.

Country Crock had the lowest percentage of vegetable oil.

I bought a 15-ounce tub of Country Crock, which is the brand we always kept in the house when I was a kid.

The label emphasized that it was churned in Kansas and contains "farm-grown ingredients." It also had the lowest amount of vegetable oil of the brands I tried, at 40%.

Its oil blend consists of soybean, palm-kernel, and palm oils.

It was incredibly easy to spread, but needed a little more salt for flavor.

I noticed right away that Country Crock's butter alternative was easy to spread, even when chilled.

The texture was smooth, and it didn't tear the soft bread at all when I spread it.

I tasted it both plain and on the bread. Although it tasted similar to butter, I think it could've used some more salt for a better flavor — it was a little bit bland. 

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter has an AHA seal of approval.

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter's spread has an American Heart Association certification label because it's made with soybean oil (an unsaturated fat) and has about 70% less saturated fat than regular butter.

Aside from the AHA certification, the label also noted that it's rich in omega-3 alpha-linolenic acid (ALA) and contains 45% vegetable oil (a blend of soybean, palm, and palm-kernel oils).

I could believe this wasn't butter, but the flavor was still good.

The texture of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter was very smooth and almost as easy to spread as Country Crock.

As for the flavor, this didn't have me fooled into thinking I was eating real butter. But it wasn't bad by any means.

It definitely had an earthy, vegetable-oil taste, but it wasn't bland, and it thankfully didn't have an oily texture.

Earth Balance had the highest percentage of vegetable oils.

Earth Balance's spread was highly distinguishable from the others.

The label also noted it's non-GMO, dairy-free, gluten-free, and vegan. It contains 78% vegetable oils, the highest of any I tried, including a blend of palm, canola, soybean, flax, and olive oils.

After opening the tub, I noticed right away that this spread was the darkest in color and looked more solid than the other products.

The Earth Balance spread didn't have a lot of flavor, and it was incredibly challenging to spread.

I found it really difficult to spread Earth Balance, maybe because of the high vegetable-oil content.

Although some of the other spreads were smooth and spreadable even when chilled, this remained pretty solid even after it came to room temperature.

The flavor was fine. It had both a slight buttery taste and an earthiness from all of the oils, but overall it was pretty bland.

Still, as the only vegan product I tried (some of the other spreads contain vitamin D that can be sourced from lanolin, which can come from sheep wool), it's a decent alternative to real butter.

Smart Balance notes health benefits on the label.

Similar to Earth Balance, Smart Balance has a high percentage of vegetable oils at 64%. Its blend includes canola, palm, and olive oils.

The label says that the product contains 400 milligrams of omega-3 ALA per serving.

This product was really difficult to spread.

It wasn't dark beige like Earth Balance, but Smart Balance's butter alternative was similarly difficult to spread.

When I tried putting it on bread, it started tearing up the piece. It also came out of the container in solid chunks.

It softened up somewhat as it came to room temperature, and the label at least warned that it would be "firm out of refrigeration." But I think the perk of a buttery spread is that it can be used right out of the chilled container, unlike waiting for real butter to soften. 

In terms of flavor, Smart Balance had a great butter-like taste at first. But then, as it melted in my mouth, it left an aftertaste I didn't love.

Country Crock was my favorite, but I still plan to stick to traditional butter.

Of the four buttery spreads I tried, Country Crock was my favorite.

It was the easiest to spread — which is the whole point, in my opinion. It wasn't the most flavorful, but none of the spreads were really rich in flavor.

I thought the flavor of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter was pretty good, but it wasn't quite as easy to spread. I'd probably skip Smart Balance and Earth Balance because of their higher cost and more solid texture.

All in all, I still plan to stick to using traditional butter. But I'd buy Country Crock again if I needed a quick, convenient butter-like spread.

This story was originally published on January 4, 2023, and most recently updated on June 3, 2025.

• We spoke with stylists about which shoe trends are in and out this summer.
• According to the pros, backless shoes like mules and clogs will be popular.
• However, chunky sneakers, flip-flops, and ballet flats are being replaced by trendier styles.

Whether you're packing for a weekend away or heading out for a casual day in the sun, the right pair of shoes can make all the difference.

To help you navigate what's worth buying, Business Insider asked stylists to share the summer shoe trends they love and those that will soon be retired.

Backless shoes like mules and clogs are in this summer.

Patrick Kenger, lead personal stylist and founder of Pivot Image Consulting, told BI that backless shoes like clogs and mules are having a moment thanks to their effortless fit and breathable design.

"A great quality about these shoes is that you can easily slip them on and off," he said.

Clogs bring a retro, chunkier look, while mules have a more streamlined feel. Both offer a practical mix of comfort and style for the season.

Metallic shoes are having a moment.

Shimmery finishes are stepping into the spotlight this season, showing up on everything from sneakers and heels to flats. And according to fashion stylist Hailey Genevieve, gold, silver, and bold metallic tones aren't going anywhere.

"Metallic colors are the perfect way to add a statement pop to any outfit," she told BI.

Low-top sneakers go with just about anything.

Low-top vintage sneakers are trending across fashion circles, worn by everyone from street-style stars to everyday trendsetters.

Kendra Sharpe, stylist and founder of Kendra Sharpe Styling, told BI, "Low and retro is the moment right now."

Kenger said that another bonus of these sneakers is their versatility, making them ideal for a range of summer outfits.

Woven flats and sandals are a summer wardrobe staple.

Woven styles are everywhere right now and will likely continue to be very popular this summer.

"The woven design gives these shoes a textured look, plus added breathability," Kenger told BI.

Their airy construction and laid-back look make them easy to pair with just about anything, from casual shorts to dressier outfits.

Jelly sandals are having a grown-up glow-up.

The jelly shoes that were popular in the 90s are back with sleeker shapes and grown-up colors that feel playful but polished.

Available in all different colors and styles, they're sure to be the life of the pool party. Sharpe suggests trying the look as either a sandal or flat.

Cross-strap leather sandals can take you from the beach to a night out.

According to Kenger, cross-strap leather sandals are an elegant choice that pair well with summer fabrics like linen.

He said the sleek, structured design is ideal for dressing up casual outfits, making these a solid pick for everything from city strolls to dinner out.

However, bulky shoes are giving way to lightweight styles.

Chunky sneakers and heavy platforms are taking a backseat as fashion shifts toward lighter, more wearable options.

Kenger recommends opting for more refined silhouettes like canvas shoes, which offer a clean, breathable, and easy-to-style alternative that pairs well with everything from denim to linen.

Flip-flops should stay poolside.

Classic plastic flip-flops may have had a brief moment, but Genevieve said they're best reserved for the beach or pool.

To keep your look elevated, the stylist recommends opting for a thong micro-heel, which is a sleek blend of a flip-flop and a kitten heel. It's an easy upgrade that works for brunch, lunch, or a night out.

It's time to say goodbye to flashy branded sandals.

Sharpe told BI that overtly branded sandals are on their way out. Instead, she said to take your quiet luxury vibe into summer with sleek sandals that have minimal branding.

"This creates a more timeless look and an added level of chicness to your looks," the stylist said.

Ballet flats are losing momentum.

As wonderful and classic as ballet flats are, according to Genevieve, they're a bit too safe for this season. For a more exciting and trendy replacement, she suggests a woven style instead.

Or, for something more casual, Kenger said a more breathable and lightweight mesh flat will do the trick.

• I waited until later to have kids, and I thought it would mean slowing down.
• Instead, I feel more active as an older mom than before having kids.
• We're always moving our bodies and it makes me feel younger.

I never felt ready to have a baby. I kept pushing it to later in life, even though I met my husband when I was 31. I was 38 when I had my first child and 40 when I had my second child. I'm 43, but I feel younger because my kids have brought more movement to my life.

I didn't expect to feel this way as an older mom. I had thought I'd have less energy and struggle to keep up with my kids' activity needs. Instead, I often feel invigorated from moving my body all the time. However, the start of my motherhood journey wasn't like this at all.

My energy levels were low for the first few years of being a mom

It took a full year to recover from having my first child. Just as I had started to feel like myself again, I fell pregnant with my second. I had expected things to slow down, but I was kept busy chasing after my energetic toddler.

Once I had two kids under 2, I was exhausted all the time. Regardless of my age, it was a very busy and demanding time in my life.

Thankfully, I reached a turning point when my youngest turned 1. She was starting to walk, so I always had to be on my feet because of her newfound freedom.

We're always moving our bodies

I've always been very active, but mothering two young kids has taken it to the next level. My daughters, aged 2 and 4, are driven by an endless impulse to move. They're always trying to master new movements: My 2-year-old has just learnt to jump, and my 4-year-old is learning to ride a bike.

Through them, I now have a greater appreciation of the joy of movement. I feel like I'm undoing years of being taught that movement had to be done in a particular way. I've also stopped worrying about how I look when I move my body.

Incorporating more movement into each day has been an unexpected gift of becoming a stay-at-home mom. Since leaving full time employment, I no longer get tight hip flexors and lower back pain from sitting for extended periods. I've swapped short, intense bursts of exercise at the gym for an almost constant state of motion.

My kids and I walk, run, hop, and skip through our days together. My heart rate increases by chasing after them, especially when they run off in different directions. We wiggle our bodies to music, do yoga poses together, and challenge each other with obstacle courses.

It's not all play, though. I'm also kept active from continuously tending to my kids' needs and doing household tasks like cooking, cleaning, and running errands.

I feel tired toward the end of each day, but my kids usually have even more energy. They run around being silly ,and sometimes I'll join in. It's hard not to feel younger when I do the things that I used to do as a kid.

They motivate me to stay active

I like being active most days, but I also enjoy my downtime. I cherish relaxing in the evenings after my kids go to bed to prepare my body for the next day's adventures.

As an older mom, I'm both excited and nervous about the future. I'm curious to see how our movement changes over time when they're at school and I'm working full-time. But I'm also worried that one day I won't have the energy to keep up with them.

Because of this concern, I feel motivated to stay active and look after my mobility for my kids. In our moments of shared movement, everything feels right. I'm determined to hold onto that feeling for as long as possible.

• I've traveled to over 20 countries, and Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, is one city that stole my heart.
• From pristine beaches to a busy downtown scene, there's so much to do in this lively Mexican city.
• I also love the mix of fine-dining and street-food options.

I've traveled to over 20 countries, but Mexico continues to be one of my favorite destinations to visit.

One Mexican city in particular has stolen my heart: Puerto Vallarta. Located on the country's west coast, Puerto Vallarta is more than just a classic resort town. It offers a unique blend of pristine beaches, a bustling downtown scene, and plenty of outdoor adventure.

I've visited Puerto Vallarta four times in the past two years — with friends, family, and for bachelorette parties — and every trip has offered something a little different.

Whether you're looking for nature, nightlife, relaxation, or mouthwatering dishes, there truly is something for every type of traveler. Here's why I love visiting this lively Mexican city.

The city offers a great mix of fine-dining and street-food options

One of the best parts of traveling is indulging in the local delicacies, and Puerto Vallarta has no shortage of incredible meals.

Those who want a fun and classic street-food-style experience should head to Pancho's Takos.

The restaurant's al pastor tacos are so good that you'll likely have to wait in a line that stretches around the block. Fortunately, it's located in the heart of downtown, so you can see street performers and people-watch while waiting.

Travelers looking for something a little more luxe will love the stretch of restaurants located along Playa Los Muertos (the main tourist beach).

I especially enjoy El Dorado, which has fresh-tasting seafood, craft cocktails, and attentive service. The best part is the option to dine with your toes in the sand.

I recommend going for dinner at sunset for a romantic and memorable dining experience — just be sure to make reservations ahead of time, as tables go fast.

I love going dancing in Zona Romántica

Puerto Vallarta's nightlife offers an inclusive and spirited ambiance, and is ideal for a late night on the town with friends.

The Zona Romántica, or Romantic Zone, is home to lots of bars and nightclubs. It's also a hub for the LGBTQ+ communities and reminds me of the Mexican version of West Hollywood.

Once the sun goes down, crowds spill (or dance) out of bass-pumping bars on every corner.

If a party is what you're looking for, you won't have to try very hard to find it in the Zona Romántica.

Puerto Vallarta has a wide variety of outdoor activities

Outdoorsy folks will love the plethora of scenic hiking trails, water sports, and natural wonders in or near Puerto Vallarta.

I recommend checking out the Palo Maria Waterfall trail, a moderate 1.4-mile trail that leads to a small waterfall and swimming hole. I loved jumping in the water to cool off from the heat and snap photos.

If whale watching sounds like something up your alley, make sure to visit between December and March, when humpback whales migrate to Puerto Vallarta's Banderas Bay to breed and give birth. It's an awe-inspiring sight to witness.

During one of my trips to the city, I even got to look under the sea's surface with a snorkeling tour to Los Arcos National Marine Park. You can get there by boat or kayak — I opted for a kayaking tour through the Garza Blanca Resort.

• I was not sleeping well, overweight, overeating, and generally not physically or mentally well.
• I told my family I needed time away. I chose a wellness retreat for a week in the mountains.
• The retreat cost $6,900 and was worth every penny. I'm still seeing the benefits months later.

A $6,900 wellness retreat for a week in the mountains of British Columbia sounded indulgent, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something had to give.

I was burned out, foggy-headed, overweight, and feeling a little unmoored.

I'd recently had surgery, and while my doctor had given me the green light to return to all activities, including exercise, I was completely unmotivated to work out.

My sleep was also off, and my eating habits needed an overhaul. I generally eat healthily, but I'd slumped into a bad habit of overeating.

Adding to that, I'm a mom to two high-energy teen boys and had reached a point where I felt maxed out in the parenting department. I didn't hide it, though.

I was honest with my family and told them I needed a reset, that I wasn't feeling my best physically or mentally, and that this retreat was something I was doing for my health. They were supportive.

It's been over two months since the retreat, and I'm completely transformed. I don't have immediate plans to return, but the benefits were so amazing that I would consider going back. It was worth every penny.

Why this retreat was worth it for me

While the $6,900 price tag for Mountain Trek Health Reset Retreat is considerable, it covered everything: guided hikes, yoga, spa treatments, educational talks, and meals.

I learned about the retreat from a friend. It's caffeine- and alcohol-free, with limited sugar/carbs, and focuses on lots of activity, including hiking several hours each day.

I looked at other places, but what really sold me on Mountain Trek was the combination of physical activity, healthy eating, and expert-led classes on topics like sleep.

As a middle-aged mom, this sounded like exactly what I needed.

The retreat taught me how to improve my mental health back home

I have to say, there was something nice about not having to take care of my family and instead having someone take care of me.

I didn't have to plan meals or schedules each day, so the decision fatigue I was feeling at home was gone, and my mind could be more present.

Of course, when I returned home, decision-making turned back on, but I found a way to better manage it.

I now meal-plan on Sundays, which has significantly improved my mental health, and my mind is calmer during the week.

I also learned the phrase micro-dosing happiness. It's about creating happy moments throughout the day.

I never thought of happiness as a practice, but the more I sought out and focused on those small microdosing moments, the better it made me feel.

The biggest surprise of the whole retreat

The hiking is what attracted me to the program, initially, and turned out to be the biggest surprise of the whole retreat.

Hiking is my happy place: I've hiked the Inca Trail in Peru and trekked through Patagonia in Chile.

So, when we were told they divided hiking groups into four categories (1-4, fastest to slowest), I figured I'd fall into group 2, given my recent surgery and weight gain.

It was a huge wake-up call (and a hit to my ego) to find out I had to fall behind to group 4, the slowest. Turns out, group 4 was fabulous.

Because we hiked slower, I was able to take in the beautiful flowers, frogs, deer, and other wildlife while the women and I bonded over our various life struggles.

I grew to accept — and appreciate — the slower pace. And the connections I made with those women, as well as the rest of the people at the retreat (there were 13 of us, three men and ten women; Mountain Trek limits it to 16 total), were one of the best parts of that week.

My week in the mountains was the perfect reset I needed

Back home, I'm still seeing the benefits.

I've rediscovered my motivation to move and am committed to the gym five days a week, walking with a friend three to four times a week, and sitting less overall.

I break up my day with movement breaks, even if it's just going up and down the stairs for five minutes.

I also finally curbed my overeating habit. The retreat offered six small meals a day without second servings. I was hungry the first couple of days, but my body adapted after that, and I've kept my portion sizes smaller at home, too.

The new routine makes me feel more energized and less stressed. It's largely thanks to the retreat and admitting to myself that I needed a break, and being brave enough to take it.

I met several people on the retreat who were regulars, and I could see myself going back. I missed my husband and kids, but to spend a full week really working on myself — emotionally, physically, mentally — was a gift.

• Eric Morrow was diagnosed with severe prostate cancer at age 49.
• He had no symptoms aside from a slightly enlarged prostate that showed up during a colonoscopy.
• His primary care physician never tested him for prostate cancer despite Morrow's family history.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Eric Morrow, a prostate cancer survivor, US Air Force veteran, and volunteer advocate for Zero Prostate Cancer, a nonprofit focused on supporting patients and eliminating prostate cancer. It's been edited for length and clarity.

I was diagnosed with prostate cancer on June 8, 2021, at 49. It was shortly before my 50th birthday.

I'll admit I did not know a lot about prostate cancer then. I knew it was fairly common and, to the best of my knowledge at the time, I thought it primarily affected older men in their 70s and 80s.

Five years prior, in 2016, I'd learned that my father had previously had prostate cancer and that he was in remission after being successfully treated.

So, the next time I saw my primary care physician, who was assigned to me through the Air Force, I told her about my family history and asked if I should get checked for prostate cancer.

She said that I was too young and didn't need to worry about getting screened until my 50s.

The phone call that probably saved my life

In 2020, my PCP said I was old enough to have a colonoscopy to check for colon cancer. That's when it all started.

After my colonoscopy, the gastroenterologist said my colon looked great, but my prostate looked a little enlarged, and I should schedule an appointment with a urologist.

I had no other symptoms to suggest I had prostate cancer. Also, this was during the height of the pandemic. I got distracted by work and didn't make the appointment immediately.

I was really lucky that the doctor called me back a month later to see if I'd seen the urologist. It was a really simple follow-up, but that phone call prompted me to make the appointment and probably saved my life.

My PSA level was in the hundreds

The urologist scheduled me for a digital rectal exam and an MRI, and then drew my blood for a PSA test, which measures specific proteins in the blood to identify possible prostate cancer.

I got a call a few hours later about my PSA level. I was told that anything over four would be a concern for a man of my age. My PSA level was 225.

The urologist said there could be many reasons for my extremely high PSA levels, but a later biopsy revealed that I had prostate cancer with a Gleason score, which measures how aggressive the cancer is, of nine. The highest the scale goes is 10.

I got the trifecta of treatment: surgery, radiation, and pills

I was lucky enough that the Department of Defense's Center for Prostate Disease Research at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland, was nearby, and my case was aggressive enough to qualify for their treatment.

There, I had a cancer team including a urologic oncologist and radiation oncologist who recommended a multi-step treatment involving surgery, radiation therapy, and hormone therapy to turn off testosterone production in my body.

I started surgery in July 2021, after which I had issues with incontinence. Despite physical therapy to improve it, I never regained full control of my bladder. This made the radiation therapy, which came about five-and-a-half months later, very challenging.

Each time, I had to come in with an empty rectum and a full bladder. The full bladder basically pushes the rectum, so it's not as much in the field where they're going to shoot with radiation.

Each of the 39 radiation sessions I completed only lasts about 15 minutes, but I had a hard time getting my bladder full enough and then holding it long enough for the therapy.

To get through it, I'd play a game with myself: They had music going, and I would just listen to the music and try to memorize it. Then, I went on Facebook afterward and posted a list of all the songs — it became my "Playlist of the day" for friends and family.

The androgen deprivation therapy, aka hormone therapy, was a shot that I got every three months, along with pills that I was taking every day. I did this therapy for about 24 months.

The side effects were pretty harsh. I experienced hot flashes, mood swings, additional abdominal fat, loss of muscle mass and bone density, and it killed my libido. I got back into lifting weights that I hadn't been doing for probably more than a decade, and that helped minimize some of the weight gain and muscle loss.

Since coming off hormone therapy, my testosterone has luckily gone back to pre-treatment levels, and my PSA level has remained undetectable.

I quit my job after getting cancer

I wouldn't wish cancer on anybody, but the one thing it does give you is perspective. I realized I wanted to do something more.

So in December of 2022, I left my job with a medical device company I'd been with for over nine years. I was ready to give back to the prostate cancer community.

I'm now doing a lot of work on a year-round basis with Zero Prostate Cancer. I also volunteer at Walter Reed, where I received my cancer treatment.

I also speak with new prostate cancer patients and try to give them hope. I tell them, "Four years ago, I was sitting right where you are and I thought I was going to die. But I'm still here, and I'm doing OK."