• We asked pros in the wedding industry about trends and traditions they don't like at receptions.
• Favors, big cakes, and Champagne toasts can end up being a big waste of money.
• Wedding trends like fireworks and food walls look better on the internet than they do in real life.

For many couples, a wedding reception is the biggest and most expensive party they'll ever throw.

However, spending more money won't always make the celebration better.

To figure out what's probably not worth spending time and money on, Business Insider asked wedding professionals what reception trends and traditions they wish couples would skip.

Champagne toasts can be a waste of money.

Wedding planner Lindsey Nickel of Lovely Day Events said couples should skip handing out flutes of sparkling wine and allow guests to toast with the drinks they already have.

"This will save you a tremendous amount of money since guests often just take a few sips of Champagne and leave the rest," she said.

If you're determined to offer bubbly, try serving it in shallow coupe glasses rather than flutes to reduce waste.

Skip individual place cards and do a big seating chart instead.

Wedding master of ceremonies Artem Lomaz told BI that place cards can add unnecessary expense, clutter, and confusion to a reception.

"Place cards often get lost or mislabeled and leave guests unsure of where to sit," he said.

Instead, do a large seating chart that's easy to personalize and allows guests to orient themselves in the space.

Trendy food walls can be unsanitary and wasteful.

The food-wall trend — in which couples set up a wall of edible decor like doughnuts or candy — tends to look better on Instagram than in real life.

"After the first few guests grab their desired pieces, the novelty wears off and you're left with stale snacks hanging on a wall," Lomaz said. "And if your reception is outside, the food may attract wildlife or bugs."

Avoid perishable decor by instead providing a photo op with draped fabric or hanging plants.

Scheduling a getaway car might cut your time with your guests short.

Renting a fancy car to make a grand exit from your reception can be pricey and lead to missed opportunities to connect with guests.

"Getaway cars can be great for photos, but couples often feel rushed to leave and miss out on saying goodbye to guests," Nickel told BI.

Instead, the wedding planner recommended using that money for the bar tab at the after-party.

Fireworks can be smoky and dangerous.

Fireworks are an exciting way to end a wedding, but they can be loud, smoky, and hazardous to the environment.

"The air and noise pollution created by fireworks can wreak havoc with the local environment and interfere with animal life," Lomaz said.

If you want something similar, try giving guests glow sticks or sparklers (with safety instructions).

A giant wedding cake isn't always necessary or cost-effective.

" … the high price of a large, elaborate wedding cake often catches couples by surprise," Nickel said.

It's often not necessary, either. Instead, order a small cake to cut at the reception and serve a sheet cake, or have a dessert bar for guests.

A long lineup of speeches can be boring for guests.

Wedding and event planner Keith Willard told BI that most receptions don't need more than one or two toasts.

"A long list of speeches or toasts can bore guests," he said. "At least half your guests won't know each other, meaning long-winded personal reflections won't be appreciated."

Willard also said that toasts should ideally clock in at under three minutes and be given by senior members of the wedding party, such as the maid of honor or the father of the bride.

You probably shouldn't serve more than three courses at the reception.

Even if you and your partner are foodies, a wedding reception isn't the best time for a seven-course dining experience.

"Don't make your guests sit through four or more courses," Willard said. "A long meal is time-consuming and takes away from the guests' ability to let their hair down and have some fun at your wedding."

Focus on choosing an incredible main course and some interesting appetizers for cocktail hour.

Dance-floor props can look out of place next to carefully chosen decor.

Wedding photographer Amy Kolodziej said that dance-floor props can detract from the elegance of a wedding reception.

"Strobing headgear and neon glow sticks very rarely match the vibe from the rest of the wedding day," she told BI.

The photographer suggested serving a signature cocktail or fun snack during the reception instead.

The bouquet and garter tosses might alienate some guests.

The bouquet and garter tosses are long-standing wedding traditions that can make some guests feel uncomfortable.

"Unless you're getting married young or before most of your friends, asking your guests to self-identify as single can be awkward," Kolodziej said.

Skipping the flower toss can also save money by eliminating the need for an extra bouquet.

Guests usually end up abandoning their favors.

"Customized favors can often feel forced," Nickel said. "Plus, the majority of favors are usually left behind by guests."

If you really have your heart set on favors, consider something consumable, like chocolates or jars of local honey.

This story was originally published in July 2021 and most recently updated on May 28, 2025.

• As a wedding planner, I've seen guests commit many faux pas at ceremonies and receptions.
• Sit by the front if there are empty seats, and don't walk down the aisle as the wedding is starting.
• Believe that couples know what they want and don't assume they'll be following old traditions.

As a professional wedding planner, I've seen a wide range of guest behavior, from the bad to the brilliant.

Luckily, being a good wedding guest doesn't always have to be difficult.

From double-checking information you've received about the nuptials to asking how you can help, here are eight ways to be a great wedding guest.

Before you ask the couple a question, make sure you don't already have the answer

With resources like wedding websites and multipage invites, many modern couples provide a lot of information to their guests.

Be sure to check those resources before you contact the couple to ask something, especially if it's less than two weeks before the wedding. Your answer might already be out there.

Ask yourself, 'Is this for me, or is it for the people getting married?'

Weddings bring up a lot of different feelings, so it can be easy to lose yourself along the way. Before you make a request, ask yourself, "Am I asking for something that benefits me or the couple?"

It's OK if the answer is, "This is for me." Use it as an opportunity to share context with the couple on why a particular request is so important to you.

Sit close to the front during the ceremony

Although the first two rows on either side at a wedding are typically reserved for VIPs, rows three and four are usually open — I recommend sitting there.

Even better, if you see some empty spots and you've been sitting for a while, move up. Sitting toward the front will help make the space look fuller before the wedding party enters.

If the ceremony is about to begin, don't go down the aisle

You'd think avoiding walking down the aisle would be obvious, but I've seen guests coming back from the restroom do this as the wedding begins.

Rather than work their way around the side of the ceremony space or wait at the back until the processional ended, they'll cut in front of the wedding party and walk down the aisle.

Please don't do this.

Remember, nobody can read your mind

It's difficult to remember the respective needs of every single wedding guest while planning, whether someone is allergic to a particular food or is unable to safely climb stairs

If you feel comfortable doing so, tell the couple what you need, ideally no later than 60 days before the wedding. With your consent, they can then pass that information along to the members of the vendor team who can best assist on the wedding day.

If you want to help, offer a specific way to do so

Typically, the most useful ways to help a couple are to assist with setup or clean up on the wedding day.

Helping with setup often means arriving two to three hours before any pre-ceremony photos or events. Assisting with clean up means remaining sober enough to put items away at the end of the day.

If neither of those tasks works for your situation but you still want to help, ask the couple what their No. 1 wedding challenge is.

Use that answer to figure out how your specific skill set and schedule can help alleviate some of that wedding stress.

Don't assume anything

Not assuming anything is a guiding principle in my work as a planner, and it's one you can use too.

When it comes to modern nuptials, don't assume the couple will carry on traditions that meant everything 30 years ago or use old-school gendered language in their ceremony.

Instead, if you're curious about how the planning is going, ask open-ended questions. For example, "What's been the most surprising thing about planning the wedding so far?" or, "What part have you each liked best?"

Believe the couple knows what they want

It never fails to surprise me how much gaslighting is present in modern wedding planning. Even though two adults who have typically spent multiple years and many life struggles together have chosen to get married, there's usually someone who thinks they don't know what they want.

Of course, there are some exceptions to this rule, but you should almost always believe the couple when they tell you what they want.

Whether they're putting cash on their registry, will not wear white, or choose to forgo cake, they've likely made these choices consciously and because they bring value to their relationship. 

If you're in doubt, don't pummel with opinion. Instead, try asking, "Are you in a place where you'd like to receive advice on this topic?"

This story was originally published on October 22, 2022, and most recently updated on May 5, 2025.

• I'm a professional wedding planner, and I've seen a lot of bad guest behavior at events. 
• It's your responsibility to RSVP, show up on time, and keep track of your belongings at a wedding. 
• Don't be rude to the event vendors or ask the couple questions they already answered on their site.

In my many years as a professional wedding planner, I've learned a thing or two about the people who attend my events.

Here are the most common mistakes I see wedding guests make, and how to avoid them.

Waiting until the last minute to RSVP or not doing so at all

A wedding isn't like a normal party where you can see how you feel in the morning and decide then if you'll attend or not.

Whether it's a backyard potluck or a formal dinner, the event often involves catering, and whoever's providing the food must know how many people to plan for. 

When you refuse to RSVP, you force the couple to track down the information when they're already busy trying to plan their wedding. 

Acting like you know the couple better than they know themselves

Believe people getting married when they tell you what they do or don't want, especially when it comes to registries and gifts.

If the couple asks for cash, donations to nonprofits, or non-physical presents like gift cards or experiences, please don't tell them they're wrong and buy them a vase.

The best gift you can give as a guest is respecting their wishes.

Leaving favors behind at the venue

I know none of us need more monogrammed knickknacks, but just grab the darn coozie, OK?

You can toss it or, ideally, recycle it as soon as you get home, but if you leave it at the wedding, you're just giving the couple more to clean up.

And a tip for couples: If you give favors, try to make them something that won't end up in a landfill.

Not speaking up about something that's making you nervous to attend the wedding

In some situations, wedding guests need certain things to feel safe while celebrating.

They may need information about a venue's accessibility, confirmation that the food won't cause an allergic reaction and/or violate a religious belief, or space to breastfeed, to name a few. 

In an ideal world, the couple will proactively provide this information, but some things fall through the cracks.

If you need something from the couple, please tell them with kindness, empathy, and notice. They want you to enjoy yourself as much as possible — that's why they invited you in the first place.

Asking the couple questions before reading the materials they've sent you

As a guest, you've likely received at least some correspondence from the couple. Often it's a save-the-date or an invite, but sometimes it's a wedding website, Facebook group, or long text thread.

Whatever the medium, please do the reading. 

Those messages contain vital information about the wedding — most critically, they should detail when the ceremony starts. Don't be the guest who asks the couple for this information the night before the wedding.

Not keeping track of your personal belongings

It never fails to amaze me what a wedding guest will leave out for anyone to grab — purses, phones, credit cards. I've seen it all sprawled out on tables as the guests dance the night away.

This advice isn't to scare you into thinking someone will steal your stuff — just try to remember where you put it. Ideally, keep your belongings at your seat.

It's much easier to locate these items (or, as often happens, have a sober vendor help you find them) if we can narrow down where you've been.

Being unprepared to get a little hungry

The biggest complaint I hear from guests is that they're hungry.

Although I agree that the best parties have plenty of good food, sometimes a couple literally can't afford to give you the five-course meal of your dreams. Or, you might have to wait longer than expected to chow down.

So, pack a few backup snacks in your bag or glove compartment in case you need them to avoid being hangry all day.

Acting rude toward vendors

Wedding vendors build their businesses on serving others, but that doesn't mean you should take advantage of them.

Guests can forget this, particularly after a few trips to the bar, but don't make a fool of yourself by snapping your fingers at the caterer or telling the florist how to do their job.

Treat the vendors like you would want to be treated.

Bringing a big or heavy gift to the wedding

I love the statement you're trying to make with that giant, 50-pound present. However, what's the couple supposed to do with it at the end of the night?

In nearly all situations, anything brought to a wedding must be removed the same day. That means your love token just became the problem of whichever VIP guest was tasked with clean-up.

Please make it easy for everyone and have big gifts mailed to the couple directly. If you feel odd arriving empty-handed to a wedding, bring a card and use it to tell the couple what you sent them. 

Arriving late to the ceremony because you didn't factor in travel and parking time

Please show up to the ceremony on time.

As a guest, factor in your travel time, possible traffic, and how long it could take to park so you don't arrive late.

A lot of this information may be readily accessible on the invitation. If it's not, you have Google. Use it.

Forgetting that, as a guest, the wedding isn't about you

The purpose of a wedding isn't to spend the most money, wear the nicest clothes, or eat the best food. 

The goal of a wedding is to celebrate the start of a marriage, so challenge yourself to center the couple in your thoughts throughout the big day and planning process.

Ask yourself if your complaint helps the couple accomplish their goal. If not, try to keep it to yourself. 

This story was originally published on February 2, 2022, and most recently updated on April 28, 2025.