• When Orrin Onken retired in 2020, he thought his golden years would look quiet and relaxing.
• Instead, he realized his phone addiction was recreating the stress he experienced at work.
• Onken, a former lawyer, is now setting rules to prevent his phone from poisoning his retirement.

Recently, I decided to watch The Brutalist — a movie that's won multiple Academy Awards and has been widely praised by critics — with my wife. I got snacks from the kitchen, snuggled into my recliner, and prepared to be mesmerized by great art.

Not even 10 minutes had passed before I reached for my smartphone. No one was calling me. I wasn't expecting any texts, emails, or alerts. Yet, as the movie played, for reasons unknown even to me, I was staring at the tiny screen in my hand.

Relentless phone-checking has become a regular occurrence in my life, so much so that it's poisoning my retirement. It's become an addiction, and I'm determined to overcome it.

When I was a lawyer, my phone was mostly a helpful tool

I retired from the practice of law in 2020. During my working years, my screen time was quite limited. My staff screened calls to the office, and I checked emails twice a day on my computer. My mobile mostly stayed in my pocket, reserved for communicating with my office on court days or for calling my wife.

When the time came for me to stop working, my retirement plans were ordinary. I imagined the time-consuming demands of clients and courts would be replaced by travel, gardening, and the leisurely reading of good books.

But what I didn't predict was that my handy pocket computer would turn on me and become a source of the kind of stress I retired to escape.

As a retiree, I find myself checking my phone all too often

My smartphone is an amazing tool. It opens and starts my car. With it, I can locate my house keys, my luggage, and even my wife. I can change the temperature in my home and see what the security cameras see. I can read books, play five-minute chess, and follow the news.

But what do I really do? I check it dozens of times a day for little or no reason. I get hooked on clickbait in my news feed: "The ingredient that every grilled cheese sandwich needs," "Five exercises that will give you eternal life," and whatever else the algorithm has concocted to catch my attention.

When I was still working as a lawyer, I didn't get sucked into my news feed in the same way, mostly because I didn't have the time. Nowadays, I find myself checking my phone because it relieves the anxiety I feel when I leave it unchecked for too long.

In the course of my life, I've overcome difficulties with alcohol, nicotine, and overeating. With each of those addictions, I knew I was in trouble when I was no longer going for the substance to feel good, but because using gave me temporary respite from withdrawal symptoms. I was doing the same thing with my phone.

Over time, I realized the relaxed retirement I'd envisioned was being sandwiched into the intervals between checking my phone. During my working days, I obsessed about my cases, and my mind would wander off to one of them at random moments. Today, it wanders off similarly to the call of social media and my news feed.

Phones are too valuable a tool in our modern society for abstinence, so I knew I had to learn to regulate my screen use instead of going cold turkey.

The journey to wean myself from addiction has begun

I want a retirement in which I participate in the world, instead of being pulled out of it by repeatedly engaging in behaviors that don't make me happy.

My first step toward this goal was to admit my dependence and then become sensitive to the difference between using my phone productively and grabbing it at every uncomfortable juncture in life.

Two months ago, I set some rules I adapted from when I quit smoking twenty-five years ago. I'd notice when I felt an urge to check my phone, and then tell myself to wait 10 minutes. When that time had passed, I'd often forget about the urge or decide I could wait another 10 minutes.

My aim is to be intentional about checking my phone. And it's working. Those intermittent rewards are already losing their grip on me.

When I do eventually look at my phone, because I have a reason to, the cheap reward of three likes on my social media post still gives me a little thrill, but I no longer go looking for them by refreshing my feed twenty minutes after I posted.

I want to learn to control my phone, rather than let it control me

As I navigate healthier phone use, I won't condemn myself for watching funny videos of cats or stop playing online chess. I only want to end the mindless checking — the things that, when I am finished, make me feel stupid and sad.

I didn't walk away from the pressures of the law office to replace them with pressure from my phone. I aspire to a retirement of simple tasks and quiet days. It's a vision that no one ever achieves in this day and age, but for now, I won't allow that fantasy to be destroyed by my own behaviour and a tiny screen inside my pocket.

Do you have a story to share about retirement? Contact the editor, Charissa Cheong, at [email protected]

• Jaylyn Jones landed over 12 interviews without tailoring her résumé for ATS scanners.
• Jones, a recruiter, emphasizes showcasing job competence over keyword stuffing in résumés.
• She shared which advice she found least helpful when she submitted her résumé through the scanner.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Jaylyn Jones, a 32-year-old recruiter based in Pittsburgh. It's been edited for length and clarity.

One of the biggest job-seeking myths I've heard is that aggressive Applicant Tracking System (ATS) scanners will filter out applicants whose applications are formatted a specific way. That's just not the case.

I've been a recruiter for three years, and about a year ago, I started hunting for a new role. When I was applying for new recruiting jobs in 2024, I took my personal experience using ATS systems into account and proved that I didn't need to tailor my résumé for ATS scanners to land a position.

Here's how I formatted my résumé to stand out among the rest.

I've used ATS scanners to recruit people for jobs

My first recruiting job was at JP Morgan from 2021 to 2024, in which I used Greenhouse, a popular ATS system, to help streamline the recruiting process.

Greenhouse rejected or flagged candidates based on straightforward questions like "Are you over the age of 18?" and "Are you authorized to work in the US?" However, no applicants were filtered out by keywords or formatting. If 1,000 people applied, I saw 1,000 applications.

I could manually search for keywords if I wanted to look for someone with specific experience, but that didn't get rid of applications that lacked that keyword.

On my résumé, I focused less on keywords and more on showing my ability to do the job

I went bullet-by-bullet on every job description and made sure there was something on my résumé that showed my competence in that area.

When reviewing my résumé, I'd simply ask myself, "Would a reasonable person look at what I have on my résumé and say, "Yes, they can do this job?" My strategy worked; I got interviewed by over 12 companies, and I got hired to recruit at a tech company in less than three months.

In my current role, I receive a lot of résumés that are filled with a page worth of keyword fodder before getting to actual experience. Once it reaches the experience section, that part is just as filled with buzzwords. When I see a résumé like this, it's not a red flag. I see it as somebody who has not been given the information and tools to be successful.

Jobscan gave my résumé a failing score

Recently, I plugged the résumé that landed me my most recent job into Jobscan, an online résumé scanner that ranks how strong a résumé is, just to see what the platform would say.

The biggest critique I received was that I was missing keywords. For example, the scanner said something like "the job description says the word "recruiting" 13 times, but your résumé only says it twice." Then it prompted me to add the keyword more times.

It was also very particular about language, such as bumping my score down for saying I was a "campus recruiter" at JP Morgan instead of a "university recruiter." It gave my résumé a 16% score.

As a recruiter, I honestly didn't see any tips from the résumé scanner that would be useful for a job seeker. If anything, it can be harmful to an applicant's success if they're more caught up in using the word "evaluate" than actually citing their experience evaluating.

My biggest tip is to focus on providing evidence over keywords

So many job seekers are having such a difficult time in this market, and they're doing everything they can possibly think of to be more successful, but if you're going to use AI, don't be sloppy.

A common ChatGPT prompt that job seekers might use is "Tailor my résumé to this job." AI often responds to this by shoehorning keywords from the job description into haphazard bullet points. Using keywords isn't helpful without proper context.

I prefer uploading the job description and using the prompt "analyze my résumé for any gaps in skills or qualifications based on this job description, and make suggestions about what to change." This might cue you to add any missing skills that the job post is looking for.

The right prompt allows job seekers to own their experience, not just blindly trust ChatGPT. This helped me during my job search.

Editor's note — A representative from Jobscan sent the following comment to BI : "A Jobscan Match Rate isn't a grade on your career; it's a risk assessment against a frustrating system. A low score doesn't mean you're unqualified; it means you're at high risk of being invisible to the automated or manual filters that 88% of employers admit will vet out good candidates. Based on third-party research and our own surveys and conversations with job seekers and recruiters, Jaylyn's job search experience is certainly an exception to the rule."

If you are professional with helpful résumé tips you'd like to share, please email the editor, Manseen Logan, at [email protected].

• Shannon Liu Shair and her husband started saving for college for their children when they were born.
• She puts money into 529 plans and custodial Roth IRAs for both of them.
• The 529 plans have around $100,000 each, and she plans to grow them to $200,000 by college time.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Shannon Liu Shair, a 38-year-old estate planning attorney in the San Francisco Bay Area, California. It has been edited for length and clarity.

As an estate planning attorney at Liu Shair Law, I work with families to plan for the future and establish their legacy. Many of my clients have children, and their primary goal is to ensure their children are provided for through college and beyond.

In addition to understanding each client's goals, I ask how they've already invested and saved for their family. This is something that's deeply personal for me, too, as my husband and I have faced the same questions.

These conversations in my work and my own life have given me a unique perspective on how to get started and stay committed. It helps my clients to have someone they can trust with their sensitive information who also "gets it."

Saving and investing for our kids was not instant or overnight; it's taken years of learning and contributing. First, we had to make sure our own retirement and savings were healthily funded.

Here's how I set up my kids for financial success.

I started 529s for each of my two kids when they were born

529s are special accounts that allow you to save tax-free for education expenses. My parents did the same for me before I was college-age. Not needing to worry about finances, loans, and tuition made it much easier for me to focus on my studies.

We set up these accounts because we want our kids to have flexibility. I want them to be able to comfortably search for their ideal job fit since they already have a savings cushion.

My husband and I have saved over $100,000 in each of their 529s. I fund their accounts so that they'll be similarly situated based on the year they attend college.

Every state has its own 529 providers. I decided to use California's plan, Scholar Share, because it was easy to set up. I want to save 100% of what is expected for a public university in California. The target goal for each of the 529s is $200,000.

We don't have a specific backup plan for the money if one of the kids doesn't attend college, but up to $35,000 can be diverted to a Roth IRA. Additionally, the funds can still be withdrawn (with a penalty on earnings), which is not an issue for us.

We could also change the beneficiary to a different family member (e.g., hypothetical grandchild). I'd rather be over-prepared financially than under-prepared and have to scramble to figure things out.

I also set up custodial Roth IRAs for them

Custodial Roth IRAs are retirement accounts in which a child can deposit earnings from a job while they're minors, allowing them to start their retirement savings early. I've saved five figures in each of their custodial Roth IRAs.

For business owners, there are ways to employ your kids to set up a Roth IRA legally. Now that my kids are 10 and 8, they've been able to help me with shredding paperwork and other small tasks. They know that they're earning money for the work that they contribute to my business.

Anyone can set up a 529 for their loved ones, but custodial Roth IRAs are only available if a child has earned income. If someone is not a business owner and their child is old enough, the child can work and still have a custodial Roth IRA. The work can be with an established business, or even helping others in the community with babysitting and other chores.

They also have their own bank accounts

Their UTMA bank accounts are kept leaner, in the hundreds of dollars. UTMA bank accounts hold money that your child owns, and an adult is the custodian until the child becomes an adult. A portion of birthday money or gifts goes into the UTMA account.

Birthday and Christmas gifts in cash are typically from grandparents or other family members. Because these gifts are not earned income, the "save" goes to UTMA accounts and not to their Roth IRAs.

I don't have a set savings strategy. I add funds when I have more money in my account.

There are 2 things I could've done differently

I could do better at automating a monthly amount to ensure consistency and streamline the process.

Another thing I could've done differently is deeper research into 529 providers. I'm OK with our California provider, but researching more couldn't hurt. 529s can have differences, such as the types of investments available, the funds set up, the minimum amount required to get started, or the maintenance fees.

I tell my clients it's a good idea to teach financial acumen at a young age so their children don't spend their savings inappropriately. Our kids know how much is in their retirement accounts because I want them to learn cause and effect.

They used to get annoyed about helping me with the administrative tasks, but since I've educated them, they understand these funds will help alleviate stress when they enter the job market.

My advice to parents is to see this as a long game

There will be dips, and people need to understand the time value of money and compounding. If they move things around or make big shifts every time there's a decline in the market, it could be counterproductive and go against their goals.

For 529s, I've taken a more passive approach and use age-based funds (enrollment-year portfolios) rather than risk-based portfolios or guaranteed investment options. I have not changed the fund allocations during market shifts.

If you're just getting started or aren't in a position to make big contributions, saving even a few dollars a week or a month is better than nothing. It makes a difference. It's especially helpful if your children are young and time is on your side.

• Debbie Boyd moved to Panama with her 97-year-old mother for lower costs and healthcare options.
• Boyd, a retired real estate broker, sought a more affordable lifestyle with different politics.
• Boyd said Panama has offered a vibrant culture and supportive community for her and her mother.

This as-told-to interview is with Debbie Boyd, 71, who moved to Panama from Atlanta with her 97-year-old mother, Doris Britto, who has dementia. Boyd and Britto moved in early 2025 and have enjoyed their time so far. Boyd has particularly appreciated the medical resources and lower cost of living abroad. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

I moved to Panama in March this year, and my mother followed a few weeks later. I had always considered the possibility of relocating outside the US and had looked into moving for a couple of years before I retired. I read about the lower cost of living being less, but I think what spurred my action was the political climate.

My first impression is that I love it here. The people in Panama are very friendly and caring. Our goal now is to get more entrenched in this new life.

I've had a number of different careers

My mom and I are both native New Yorkers. She was a long-distance operator for the New York Telephone Company for over 40 years. I relocated to Atlanta in 1983, and my mom followed me there in 1986, when she retired. We were in the Atlanta area up until this year.

She traveled with her friends and helped me raise my son. She became active in some senior citizen groups in the area.

I had a couple of careers. I've been a real estate broker with my own residential real estate firm, worked as an administrative assistant, and taught classes in criminal justice for online universities as an adjunct professor. I retired in 2016.

I found that I was becoming bored and wanted to make better use of my time. After retiring, I took swim classes, got together with friends for lunch, and traveled.

After I initially retired, I took about one year to decompress and give some thought as to what I wanted for the next phase of my life. I spent mornings reflecting over a healthy breakfast and good coffee. I enrolled in Water Zumba classes and started a walking regime. I also used this time to reconnect with friends and making quite a bit of lunch dates with my former tennis team members.

I went back to work after a couple of years in a work-from-home position.

In 2018, I got a bladder cancer diagnosis, and it involved a serious surgery. I wasn't well enough to take care of my mother, though she and I lived together. She moved into a nursing home and lived there for seven years.

Once I determined earlier this year that I was going to move to Panama, I asked my mom if she wanted to come. She said she did.

I decided that it was probably best for both of us. Otherwise, she would be in Atlanta, and I would be abroad. My son and grandchildren are grown up and have very active lives, so I knew she would be pretty much alone in the nursing home, which I didn't want for her. Panama checked a lot of the boxes. Healthcare seemed excellent, and I had a friend who retired there who answered my questions.

At the time, we were doing fine financially. We're not wealthy people, but we've worked our whole careers, paid bills on time, handled finances responsibly, and have good credit. But things have gotten so tight in the US; it's really hard to make ends meet as a retiree living off of Social Security and a small pension.

As an African American, I feel we are being targeted and knowledge of our proud heritage is constantly under assault.

The first few weeks abroad involved managing many logistics

I did three scouting trips. I wanted to come first to find a place that was suitable for us logistically. My mother's in a wheelchair, so I looked for a place that was more level. We got as much paperwork done as we could ahead of time so she could leave her facility.

My son made time to help me out by bringing my mother a few weeks later. I set up an appointment with a doctor, and he was able to see her within a week of her getting here, making sure we could transfer her medications and prescriptions.

My mom told me that since I'm here and I've handled everything, she's happy and has enjoyed it so far. She came down with a cold a few weeks ago and lost her appetite, but she started eating again and felt better. She's happier to not be in a nursing home environment. We're now looking to find more activities we can participate in together.

My friend who retired here introduced me to another person who had a sister with MS and who connected me with a home care agency. A young lady comes in six days a week to tend to my mom; she helps bathe her, prepare her meals, change her sheets, and do her laundry.

I get much more home for the same price here

Rental prices are a little higher than what I expected they'd be, but there's a gamut of price ranges. I've seen everything from $500 a month up to beyond $3,000 where I'm located. I have a four-bedroom house, an in-ground pool in the backyard, a very large living room, dining room, and kitchen.

The rent is $1,500 a month, a bit more than what I was paying for my mortgage on my house in the States, the mortgage on which is $777 a month. I still own my home. However, there have been recent property tax and home owner insurance increases and I estimate my mortgage will be approximately $250 more in 2026. I get so much more for the same amount of money.

The utilities aren't too bad. One month, I had a $70 bill, but the next month was $300. Each bedroom has its own individual air conditioning unit, so we're trying to figure out when to run it and for how long.

I'm still doing some paperwork and making phone calls to get things settled. A couple of friends have come to visit, and my son has come three times. I have a lot more company coming over the next two months.

I handle my business here like I would at home; I go to the grocery store, the bank, and the pharmacy. I take Ubers because I don't want to drive here; they drive really fast. An Uber one-way is about $2.20.

I'm still getting acclimated

I've discovered, though, that Panamanians love to party and love music. There are also always dogs barking early in the morning and late at night, so I'm trying to get used to the noise.

We don't live in an expat neighborhood. I wanted to be immersed in Panamanian culture. It's been about two months since we've been here, but I haven't had much of a chance to meet our neighbors yet. All of the houses are gated individually, so it's not like you can just walk up to your neighbor's front door.

But when I go to the mall, people talk with me. When they realize I only speak a little Spanish, everybody's helpful, pleasant, and willing to help me find things.

I haven't gotten to eat out much, but I've gotten really into going to the market and getting fresh fruit and vegetables. The hospital near me has a program where they will accept Medicare Advantage if you have an emergency situation and are hospitalized, which I'm applying for. I'm also applying to a program that's $220 a year to have any tests, blood work, or lab work done. I have Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), and I was on oxygen when I was back home. I haven't had to use it since I've been here.

My goal now is to get more involved with expat groups. I joined one recently and went to a very nice luncheon, where I met new people. I hope to continue expanding my social network. I plan to make this my new home and get more involved in volunteering.

• Patrick Lyons was laid off from Microsoft twice and worked there for a total of six years.
• Despite layoffs, Lyons maintained financial stability through side businesses and severance.
• Lyons advises pursuing monetizable passions to mitigate the impact of potential layoffs.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Patrick Lyons, a 29-year-old ex-Microsoft employee, based in Austin. It's been edited for length and clarity.

After five years at Microsoft, the last three of which I was a technical product manager for Microsoft Teams, I felt fulfilled and completely secure in my job.

I learned new things every day, pushed boundaries, and collaborated with brilliant minds. I saw how people needed me and called upon me at work for my expertise, and it brought me a real sense of purpose.

I had also been running three side businesses outside of work for several years, namely an online fitness coaching company. This allowed me to pursue my fitness passion while having bidirectional income streams. I had no plans for anything to change.

Then, in October 2024, I woke up to an early call from my VP letting me know that my role had been permanently eliminated due to business restructuring. I was shocked, but my next thought was, "How can I get rehired?"

During my unemployment, I enjoyed my hobbies

The next day, I started looking at Microsoft's internal job portal, which I'd only have access to for two more weeks. I didn't have any success in that period, so I started applying to jobs at other companies while keeping an eye on Microsoft openings.

Despite the stress about my sudden layoff, I was financially stable because of my businesses and a generous severance.

I spent the next few months applying to jobs and pouring my time into hobbies like improv comedy, fitness, and movies. It was one of the best times of my life. I started having such a good time away from work that a big part of me started questioning if I shouldn't go back to corporate at all and just fully commit to my fitness businesses.

I kept finding myself coming back to how much I missed Microsoft

I missed the ritual of logging into Microsoft Teams, doing my job, and collaborating with the same great people. I loved feeling as though I was really contributing to something larger than myself.

Microsoft's work culture is unbeatable. The idea of a growth mindset was tangible in our daily work, and our expectation was not to be a "know-it-all" but a "learn-it-all." I was surrounded by brilliant minds who wanted to help me become just as brilliant, not put me down for making mistakes or questioning the status quo.

A few months into unemployment, a former mentor of mine at Microsoft forwarded my résumé to a hiring manager, and I got rehired at Microsoft as a program manager for Azure, a cloud computing platform.

I got rehired and laid off in two months

When I returned to Microsoft, I treated my job the same as before, but I doubled down on my communication to make sure I was always on the same page with my team and superiors. It might sound counterintuitive, but I felt even more job security this second time around, because Microsoft had invested a massive amount of money into Azure.

Two months later, I woke up to a nearly identical message inviting me to a meeting where I would be laid off again. It was so jarring. I've already started applying to jobs again, but to be honest, I would still go back to Microsoft if I had the chance.

Even though Microsoft can be political at times, as there is a clear hierarchical structure in which you often have to cater to leaders' preferences, I feel as though I've learned how to navigate it. I can't always just "do" things; I need to consistently present and seek out buy-ins from various leaders.

My advice for people going through layoffs

I've stayed so level-headed while navigating two layoffs because I have diverse income streams.

My businesses allow me to completely support myself and remain in a comfortable financial position. However, I'm still choosing to seek out full-time employment because of health insurance and my desire for multiple streams of income.

I don't think it's possible to be lay-off proof, but you can limit the ability of a layoff to cause harm to your life. If you have something outside of work that you're passionate about that you can realistically monetize, do it.

If you have a unique layoff experience you'd like to share, please email the editor, Manseen Logan, at [email protected].

• For Love & Money is a column from Business Insider answering your relationship and money questions.
• This week, a reader's husband feels he's "doing it all" and wants her to get a remote job so she can take on more responsibilities.
• Our columnist suggests they work together to find ways to better balance responsibilities, without ending anyone's career.
• Have a question for our columnist? Write to For Love & Money using this Google form.

Dear For Love & Money,

My husband and I are in our mid-40s with two young children. My husband is a veteran and is currently self-employed as a carpenter. He receives a monthly disability benefit, which has allowed him to have a more flexible career, working intermittently for a few months or a year to build up a "safety net" and taking time off to travel and focus on hobbies. I have a stable federal career as a social worker with the Department of Veterans Affairs, which includes excellent benefits, a pension, and family health insurance. We both make good incomes and have money set aside. We keep our finances separate and split our bills 50/50. This has worked until recently.

Up until about four months ago, I worked remotely, which gave me the flexibility to walk the kids to and from childcare. Then I received the federal return-to-office order, and I lost that flexibility. My husband took over mornings and after school with the kids, leaving him about five to six hours to work when he has a paying carpentry job. Even though it seems like a small adjustment, it's becoming a big issue — I miss my flexibility and ability to have that extra time with the kids, and my husband wants a few more hours each day to work on carpentry projects without worrying about the kids' schedules. He has also expressed feeling like a stay-at-home dad who's "doing it all," and feeling like I take this setup for granted.

We recently got into a heated discussion, and he asked me to consider leaving my stable career and benefits to find another job that's either remote or part-time to take back the stay-at-home parent role, so he can focus on building his business. I've no intention of leaving my job — the pay is great, I enjoy what I do, and there's opportunity for growth. I also don't feel comfortable losing that stability for myself and for our kids. I've suggested adjusting the 50/50 split to decrease the pressure on his carpentry business, but he hasn't shown interest in that, and truthfully, I know my income alone won't cover our monthly expenses.

How do we maintain enough flexibility for one parent to be able to walk the kids to and from school without having to pay someone else to do it and, more importantly, not sacrifice career stability or opportunities?

Sincerely,

Standing for Stability

Dear Standing,

The term "stay-at-home-parent" refers to someone whose exclusive job is staying home and providing childcare for their children. To be clear, your husband is not a stay-at-home dad any more than you were the stay-at-home parent when you were working remotely or if you were to get a new remote job. I don't say this to be pedantic; I clarify this point because, as convenient as it may feel for one parent to work from home and be on hand for their child's needs, these are two separate, time-consuming jobs.

You mentioned that your husband feels he is "doing it all", which makes sense if he is the one at the house all day, surrounded by the responsibilities of your lives. He may be struggling to balance everything more than you did when you were working from home due to being self-employed and not reporting to a boss or having hard deadlines; I myself know how easy it is for my other responsibilities to creep up my to-do list when there's no external source forcing me to prioritize my paid work.

At the same time, he has to recognize that what you're asking of him isn't impossible; in fact, when you were working from home, you were taking on these responsibilities that he feels overwhelmed by. It's possible he took for granted that you were "doing it all" without even realizing it, and the answer to your problems isn't simply making things go back to the way they were.

Quitting your job in the hopes that you can find something remote seems like a vast overreaction to inconvenient pick-up and drop-off times. Your solution will be found in the details of your daily routine, which will be hard to negotiate if you've both mentally reduced your schedules to: "You have time. You're home all day," and "I don't. I'm in the office or doing carpentry all day."

Instead, address your husband's logistical obstacles directly. Ask him what specifically isn't working for him. Maybe he'll tell you he feels like every time he gets into the flow, it's time to pick the kids up from school, or every time he drops them off, his day gets derailed by tasks. Working from home can be challenging because personal and professional boundaries often become blurred; you walk past the kitchen and notice the trash needs to be taken out, and then the dishwasher's clean light pops on, and suddenly, two hours have passed, and you haven't even started working on the projects you've planned for the day.

If he feels that drop-off regularly triggers a series of rolling tasks, create a standing chore schedule. If your husband knows you will get the dishwasher after dinner, he won't need to worry about taking care of it during the day.

Support your husband in creating boundaries around a workflow that feels productive and doable for him. Perhaps there are strategies you learned when you were working from home that he could incorporate into his daily workflow. Another way to help balance the workflow might also be to ask your boss about any potential flexibility; if you can change your hours from 9 to 6, for instance, you may be able to add dropping your kids off back into the mix.

As a work-from-home, self-employed person, I know that when someone says they feel like they're doing it all, what they're really saying is "Does anyone appreciate how hard I'm working? Will they help?" You talked about adjusting how you divide your bills, but adjusting how you distribute the labor in your home and making sure everyone feels they have the tools they need to succeed could be a more effective way of meeting everyone's needs without ruining anyone's career.

Rooting for you,

For Love & Money

Looking for advice on how your savings, debt, or another financial challenge is affecting your relationships? Write to For Love & Money using this Google form.

• When she was laid off from a community college, Halona Black pivoted to a kitchen job at Whole Foods.
• Her passion for food and health led her to move on to teach cooking and start a health blog.
• She built a freelance writing business and now travels globally to explore health and culture.

Being let go from a job is not always a surprise. Sometimes, there are whispers before the door slams shut, small signs that your time is winding down. That's how it was for me.

In 2010, I was an academic counselor at a community college in Washington, DC. I had also volunteered to develop the tutoring center, believing I was stepping into a dream role. For over a decade, I'd worked in community education as a GED writing teacher, a tech training program manager, and an ESL teacher.

I didn't just help students pick a major — I asked them to connect their education to who they wanted to become in the world. I took my job personally, and I found myself drowning in responsibilities.

The tutoring center had no budget or staff. I was expected to build something from scratch, relying on volunteers on top of my full-time advising load. It wasn't sustainable.

Starting a new life in a new job

Eventually, complaints about the tutoring center's limitations reached leadership. When my one-year contract ended, it wasn't renewed, and I was laid off.

The long hours and low pay had worn me down. I was making $42,000 a year with a master's degree, and I woke up anxious and in tears, dreading Monday mornings. Getting let go gave me the breathing room I desperately needed.

With six months of unemployment benefits and temporary health insurance, I had just enough to survive. I decided to follow a long-held curiosity: food.

I'd always been drawn to Whole Foods

I loved the hot bar, soups, salads, and desserts, which actually looked homemade (because they were).

At this time of my life, the stress of my previous job, the death of my mother, and a failing marriage all contributed to significant weight gain. I decided to get divorced while simultaneously navigating my job situation.

I threw myself headfirst into learning how to heal my body with food. Though I once dreamed of culinary school, I couldn't justify taking out more debt on top of what I already owed for my master's degree. I sought out other ways to satisfy my culinary interests, like completing the ServSafe food handler certification.

I took a leap of faith and applied for a job in the Whole Foods kitchen

I had amassed a wealth of culinary knowledge after years of watching my favorite chefs on the Food Network, YouTube, and PBS. I read cookbooks like novels and took countless in-person cooking classes in raw food preparation, fruit pie baking, and making handmade pasta. Whole Foods took a chance on me, and I fell in love with being in a professional kitchen.

I was hired as a cook for $12 an hour. The drop in pay required me to make some adjustments in my lifestyle. I moved from a one-bedroom apartment into a single rented room in a house that was shared with five other adults. I sold my car, couch, and all my other worldly belongings. I had no real plan — I was just excited about the possibility of engaging an interest I had held for years.

I learned how to filet a 30-inch salmon, perfectly grill a steak with crosshatch marks, properly arrange the deli salad display for visual appeal, and properly scrub down every greasy kitchen surface each night. My muscles ached in ways my old desk job never asked of me, but this work was creative, and I felt alive.

Finding my creative rhythm

I stayed at Whole Foods for six months. Food service moves fast, and I learned I wasn't built for that pace.

But something had awakened in me. I started teaching healthy cooking classes in the Whole Foods community education program. I watched people recreate those recipes at home and come back surprised by their own success. That joy sparked my writing.

I began documenting recipes on my health blog and pitching food stories to small publications. I worked for a year in an after-school program teaching kids to cook healthy meals while learning STEM. I noticed how the kids were excited to talk about their country of origin and the foods they made with their mom at home that were similar to what we had prepared in class.

After being dismissed from my job at the community college, I felt like a failure. I discovered that talking about food, culture, and science fed my soul in ways that teaching did not.

Transitioning to a new life abroad

I knew that the after-school program would only last for one year, so I looked for an opportunity that would allow me to build a career in writing, food, and health.

In 2013, I took another leap of faith and moved to Orlando with my fledgling freelance writer business, starting with food and then branching into writing for wellness brands and the tech industry. Over the course of five years, I built a foundation for a freelance business I could take anywhere in the world.

I wrote blog posts, ebooks, white papers, customer case studies, and more. After watching hours of YouTube videos of other freelance writers who moved to Southeast Asia, I decided to do the same.

I booked a one-way ticket from Florida to Thailand. I was drawn to Thailand for its affordable living and access to traditional healers who could support my weight loss journey. While there, I lost 60 pounds.

Since 2018, I've lived in 10 countries in Asia, Europe, the Middle East, Africa, and now Mexico. I continue to explore what it means to sustain vibrant health while building a business that blends freelance writing with author coaching.

I now live in Playa del Carmen

I'm deepening my knowledge of healing herbs, local chile varieties, and the region's rich culinary traditions. In January 2025, I ran my first half-marathon, a milestone that reflects just how far I've come in my health journey.

Looking back, I realize I wasted too much time feeling like a failure after losing my job in higher education. I now see the experience very differently. It wasn't a failure so much as a freeing of my soul.

Most people never stop to ask if what they're doing still fits who they are and what they want to experience as they get older. I was given that opportunity, and it changed the trajectory of my life.

• Shahad Ishraq was a systems development engineer at Amazon in Germany for just over three years.
• He quit at the end of May after the company implemented a five-day RTO.
• Ishraq said Andy Jassy's memo wasn't surprising, and he isn't concerned about his future career.

This as-told-to essay is based on a transcribed conversation with 30-year-old Shahad Ishraq, from Germany. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

Reading Andy Jassy's new memo on generative AI, I'm not surprised by anything.

I worked at Amazon for nearly three and a half years and left in late May because of the 5-day RTO mandate. My commute took an hour and a half each way, so I wanted to move to another job where I could still see my career progressing and do interesting work.

The memo feels consistent with what I'd been hearing from management and Jassy while working at Amazon. I think Jassy's comments are to show shareholders he's invested in the technology.

I initially worried about AI when I wasn't as familiar with the products. However, using AI will give you a better understanding of what it's capable of and what skills you can develop to differentiate yourself.

At Amazon, there were some eager adopters of AI and some skeptics

I joined Amazon in 2022 as a systems development engineer, working in Leipzig, Germany. My day-to-day work involved designing and implementing software and performing operational tasks.

When AI tools first came out a few years ago, we were told we could use them, but we should be very careful and follow the company's policies on their usage.

Amazon is a huge company. Within it, I spotted and heard about different approaches to AI adoption. There seemed to be a bunch of excited early adopters who shared their findings with everyone. There were people like me who followed the first bunch and saw what went well. There were also some skeptics and a small number of engineers who were outright against using AI.

For me, the dawn of AI was a bit scary at first. Everyone was saying it would put me out of a job. Unless you test the technology yourself and see what it can do, you'll fear the unknown. AI wasn't part of my job until sometime in 2024.

There were also some barriers to using the technology. When I first joined Amazon, ChatGPT wasn't even available, but when it did come out in 2022 we couldn't use it that extensively because of data security issues that come with copying our code into those models. When Anthropic's Claude became available within Amazon Bedrock — the company's internal service for developing generative AI applications — we were able to make more use of AI.

In my last few months at Amazon, I started experimenting a lot with approved AI tools, doing extensive tests with them. They don't do everything for me, but I've integrated these tools into my workflow, such as by asking it to create a plan for my tasks or spot differences between documents.

I noticed it often fails, and I have to make changes, but overall, it has improved my speed and increased my throughput significantly.

AI won't eliminate software engineers anytime soon

Andy Jassy's memo feels very consistent with what I've been told internally before I left Amazon and what the company has communicated publicly.

News articles talking about the memo focus on Jassy saying that a lot of jobs will be taken by AI. However, in the same sentence, he also says jobs will be created.

I've tried creating production-level applications using AI, and it takes a lot of effort to get these products ready. A company like Amazon can't roll out an application that breaks and causes havoc. They have to have firewalls, checks, and tests.

I don't see people going out of jobs in huge numbers soon. Amazon went on a hiring spree during COVID. If we see more layoffs, I think it will be associated with cutting back after that spree, rather than the impacts of AI.

AI agents are helping out software engineers a lot, and the amount of work agents do will probably increase gradually. I'm able to get agents working on three different things, while I look into other tasks.

But AI hallucinates quite a lot. It does things it's not asked to do. I often have to correct an AI agent producing code. Humans will be required to build guardrails and act as guardrails themselves. Implementing these guardrails will take time, and I think this will slow down the AI agent hype.

There's nothing new in Jassy's memo

I think Jassy's comments about AI are to show shareholders he's invested in the technology. Memos have to come out. Jassy has to place a lot of optimism around AI; otherwise, shareholders will think they're not doing anything with AI.

My advice to Amazon employees is to start using AI as much as possible to overcome their fear of the unknown. I now work as a software engineer at a utilities company. The more I've been using AI, the more comfortable I feel about myself. I can see what skills I have that I can use to stay relevant.

In tech, languages and developments come really fast. My guess is that people will need to use AI to write code and increase their throughput, and pure software engineers will gradually be replaced by people who have both software engineering and AI skills.

I'm personally trying to learn these skills because I think they'll become more important.

A spokesperson for Amazon told Business Insider, "Amazon employees use internal generative AI tools every day to innovate on behalf of our customers. We have safeguards in place for employee use of these technologies, including restrictions on sharing confidential information with third-party generative AI services."

Do you have a story to share about the AI job market? Contact this reporter at [email protected].

• After losing a nonprofit job, Jode Blank pursued a six-figure consulting career but burned out.
• The nonprofit role involved travel and cultural exchanges, which pulled her away from home often.
• She now works at a med spa and is building an AI automation business to combine her skillset.

I didn't realize it while I was there, but I lived my dream life when I worked at a nonprofit in the J-1 Visa Work and Travel program.

I placed international students from all over the world into jobs throughout the Midwest. I often had students stay with our family in our home, and it was a unique way for my kids to learn about other cultures.

When I lost this job after 13 years, I took it hard and aimed high for a new six-figure consulting gig so I wouldn't lose out on income. I realized that wasn't the right fit — now I work the front desk at a med spa and work on my own business on the side.

I saw the world like a local at the nonprofit

We traveled and experienced the cultures through our local partnerships in each country we visited. This job afforded me the ability to travel when I wouldn't have been able to otherwise. I didn't make much, about $52,000 in my last year, but I always considered the travel perks a benefit beyond my wages.

We learned the political views of the locals and had real conversations about the relationships between our country and theirs. I often left fascinated and with a deeper understanding of how other cultures view the US.

In 2019 and 2020, I had incredibly busy years

Over five months, I traveled to New York and Washington, DC, as well as to China, Italy, and Romania. Although I loved the travel, it put a ton of pressure on my family.

When I was in Italy in 2020, things were starting to shut down in Europe. I foresaw what was coming and knew it would happen in the US soon.

In June of 2020, because there was no travel, our entire company shut down, and I lost my job. Even though I knew it was coming, it was still devastating.

I was homeschooling my kids and didn't think I could manage starting a new job while trying to educate them during lockdown. I earned a copywriting certification, got referrals from within that certification program, and took on some consulting work for influencers.

I was making six figures by my second full year as a consultant

I worked all the time, and the clients I worked with were demanding and didn't respect my boundaries. I often got messages while on vacation, on weekends, and late into the evenings.

I burned out fast, sometimes working 16 to 20-hour days. The money wasn't worth the headaches, and I developed chronic health conditions from the long hours at my desk without any physical activity.

I hated it. I couldn't sleep, and I always had the weight of other people's businesses on my mind.

In 2024, I gave it all up

After four years, I let the last of my clients go and left the digital marketing industry. I never felt better, except that I had no income and no plan. I just knew I was done working with high-maintenance influencers.

I started searching for a new career path. I'd worked from home for 18 years, so it was hard to think about going back to an office. I felt like it would crush my soul.

I found a job as a cryotherapy spa technician

It was a low-wage, $15-an-hour job with the possibility of commissions from sales. It sounded like a breath of fresh air — just the escape I was looking for. I could go home and sleep at night without worrying about everyone else's business. I applied and started working two days a week and every other weekend.

I thought it would be a temporary job to fill an income gap while I got my own business off the ground. I decided to build an AI automation business because it would allow me to use my writing skills and tech interests to help people generate better leads. It would also allow me to work with many different types of businesses that are not internet marketing, which I was looking to move away from.

I loved my job at the spa

Many of the clients became friends, and before I knew it, my schedule was filled and I was making sales regularly.

The other added benefit is that I get to use the cryotherapy equipment on myself. I've lost inches around my waist, and it's tightened up my jawline. I have so much more confidence, and I'm focusing on my health and well-being — something I had put to the wayside while I was working as a consultant.

Working at the spa has also given me time to reflect on my tendency toward workaholism

As I turned 50, I needed to consider how I wanted to spend the last 15 years of my career. Upon reflection, I loved the people I worked with at the nonprofit and how I got to experience the world. Truthfully, though, I had to depend on a lot of people when I was gone.

My parents and others helped me out with my kids while I traveled, and I missed a lot. My kids often sobbed when I would leave, and my husband dreaded it. Even if I hadn't lost my job due to the lockdown, I wouldn't have been able to work at the nonprofit much longer.

I'm still figuring out what's next for me

I know I can't stay at the spa forever. My AI automation software business is picking up, but I'm acutely aware of my old patterns of workaholism resurfacing.

Just when I think I have it figured out, we're hearing rumblings of economic downturn. It's possible I may stay at the spa longer than I originally expected.

I'll adjust my automation business to strictly working with corporations at a certain revenue level, so I know they can afford my services. Right now, I'm taking it day by day.

Do you have a story to share about recovering from burnout? Contact this editor at [email protected].

• Alvaro Munevar Jr. leveraged middle management jobs to help him retire early from his tech career.
• Now, Big Tech companies are culling middle managers, a reduction that Munevar Jr. said makes sense.
• He said he witnessed how middle managers allowed fiefdoms to thrive and slowed down productivity.

I spent nearly all of my 30-year tech career in middle management. I managed teams that built and delivered web and mobile business applications.

I intentionally stayed in the middle management bracket, where I was paid well and typically worked 40 to 45 hours most weeks. This meant I had enough time to build a real-estate side business. Doing that helped me achieve my goal of early retirement.

In 2024, I left my corporate job and live off my real-estate passive income.

My retirement at 59 came as the wider tech industry began eliminating many middle management positions.

Big Tech companies like Microsoft, Amazon, Meta, and Google have been trying to flatten their company structure by removing managers. Google's CEO, Sundar Pichai, has said this is to increase efficiency, while Amazon's Andy Jassy, who has said he wants the company to run like the "world's largest startup," has suggested that removing management layers can cut bureaucracy.

Although I really enjoyed working and learning as a middle manager, I did occasionally question the value I was bringing at that level.

I worked in startups and bigger companies alike

Beginning in the late 1990s, I worked in both engineering and middle management roles for a few small startup companies.

These startups maintained a flat management structure where the CEO worked directly with individual contributors to quickly make key decisions and deliver software products. There were few middle managers, and little bureaucracy. This leaner model meant we had fewer scheduled meetings and fewer roadblocks to building out products.

In the startups I worked for, everyone was focused on rapidly solving problems to reach the objective. Your job and future stock awards were based on the team's ability to focus and deliver quickly. Teams could make and execute plans more rapidly without the bureaucracy of a middle management layer — the reviews and approvals that middle managers tend to oversee in larger companies often only slow things down.

When I worked in tech roles at larger companies, my role often involved monitoring progress and confirming that software development teams were meeting the project timelines. I was responsible for explaining the delays to senior management and recommending improvements to avoid future hold-ups.

I spent significant time relaying status updates to the leaders above me and directives to the individual contributors below me. From working at startups, I knew that this back and forth could be reduced in a leaner management environment.

While working at larger companies, I also noticed that fiefdoms began to thrive due to the large number of middle managers.

Fiefdoms, a well-known phenomenon in tech, are essentially siloed groups of workers who are closely controlled by middle managers. These managers oversee what information about the group they share with the rest of the company.

I noticed that fiefdoms often benefited managers. By overseeing a larger head count, they had a greater perceived value. However, it unfortunately ended up isolating teams and departments from one another, leading to duplicated efforts across the company due to limited communication between groups.

On several occasions, my team and I would spend months building out a new software solution only to learn upon presenting our work that another manager's silo of engineers had already built out a similar one.

This is a management fiefdom scenario at its worst, and it negatively impacted morale. My team members were furious that their efforts had been wasted because of the lack of communication.

I'm not sad to see middle managers go

I built my tech career in middle management, so it may seem odd that I recommend removing the very role I once performed.

But after working in tech for over 30 years, I've witnessed significant wasted effort, duplicated results, and territorial management practices in the traditional, heavier middle management model.

There may be disruption and some confusion until the new model has fully worked itself out, but I expect that flattening companies will ultimately create leaner, better working environments.

Do you have a story to share about middle management in tech? Contact the editor, Charissa Cheong, at [email protected]

• Taylor Nissi is a senior VP and wealth advisor at the wealth management firm Farther.
• He shared his top tips he would give to clients navigating recent market volatility amid tariffs.
• Nissi said everyone should have three buckets: emergency fund, growth strategy, and retirement plan.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Taylor Nissi, a wealth advisor at Farther. It has been edited for length and clarity.

It's important that people have a financial plan they can refer to during times of economic uncertainty.

In the current climate, people may want to reevaluate their risk strategies for their investment portfolios and cash management.

As a wealth advisor, it's my job to help both small business owners and employees through this time of economic uncertainty. Here are my top tips.

Make a plan and prioritize your emergency fund

We like to say you should have three buckets. The first bucket is your emergency fund, the second is your taxable growth strategy, and the third is your long-term retirement plan.

Having a financial plan gives people a reference point to return to during market fluctuations. It can help with decision-making in times of high anxiety.

Everyone should prioritize building their emergency fund or "first bucket." Your emergency fund is a way to prepare for market risk and life risk.

If your household has one income, you should have at least six months saved in your emergency fund. If you have two incomes — either two income earners, one person with two incomes, or a person with one income and a trust fund — that number could drop to three months.

Any other money you know you'll spend in the next 24 months, a college tuition to pay or a house down payment, for example, should all be added to your emergency fund.

This money should be held somewhere that it can be easily converted to cash without affecting its market price. You want something safe, easy to access, and earning a little interest: High-yield savings accounts, money market accounts, or short-term CDs are all good.

If you're not coping, remove volatile assets like stocks and add bonds

The "second bucket" is your taxable growth strategy: investments to help your money grow, even in accounts where you pay taxes, like a regular brokerage account. We've been talking with a lot of clients about how they felt when the market crashed in early April. Our clients hold a lot of wealth in stocks and were very uncomfortable.

If clients were very stressed or couldn't sleep at night, then we'd look at their "second bucket" and change the allocation of their portfolio to more bonds and fewer stocks.

However, we'd also tell people that selling stocks and buying bonds can impact your long-term financial goals. If you sell stocks when prices are down, you lock in those losses. Buying bonds instead may mean you miss out if the stocks rebound.

If you were emotionally OK during a volatile market, I'd say continue buying stocks. They're the best way to compound wealth. You want to buy companies with strong balance sheets and a strong moat around them.

Do not make reactionary portfolio decisions

If you make an emotional decision to sell everything and go to cash, there could be a knock-on impact on achieving your financial goals.

If my clients call me and tell me they want to sell everything, I generally try to walk them back, share historical data about why that might not be a good idea, and tell them to sleep on it.

Taking your money out of the market, say the S&P 500, when you're most uncomfortable and returning after a couple of days will reduce your annual average returns.

Knowing when to invest back in is the hard part. The best days in the market often come immediately after the worst days. So if you take your money out on the worst day, and wait for some kind of "all clear sign," you will almost certainly miss the best days.

I talk a lot about what we learned through the 2008 financial crisis. A lot of the people who got hurt the most were the people who reacted emotionally.

Consider long-term investments

If you're younger, under 50, I'd advise clients to own mostly stocks in their "third bucket," their retirement savings plan. Stocks have much more growth potential compared to bonds. If you didn't cope emotionally with what happened in early April, you could adjust to having fewer stocks and more bonds, but that will have a downstream impact.

If you are nearing retirement, you should be thinking about moving some of your "third bucket" assets into more stable investments. Or if you cannot handle the market swings, think about building a more stable and less growth-oriented portfolio.

I always try to help my clients who are getting ready to retire be conscious of the "sequence of returns" risk. This is when you have to pull money out of your retirement fund during bad market conditions, which can drain your savings faster than you planned for.

If you retire during a market decline, you'll be forced to sell assets at a discount rather than their fully appreciated value, which will decrease your future value. Selling investments while they're down means you'll have less money left to grow in the future, so your total retirement fund shrinks faster.

If you're preparing to retire in the next two or three years, your third bucket should have an emergency fund of its own. You want to have two years of expenses in cash in addition to the emergency fund you already have. It will protect you against stagflation and market uncertainty.