• Kim Gravel is the founder of two top-performing QVC brands.
• She's also a mom to two teenage boys.
• Gravel has learned a lot from her failures and is determined to let her sons fail too.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Kim Gravel, the founder of Belle by Kim Gravel and Love Who You Are. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I was 19 when I won the Miss Georgia pageant. Even more exciting than the crown was the $100,000 salary that came with it.

This was back in 1991, so that was serious money. For the first time, I felt like I was being paid not just for the task I was doing but for my talent.

Since I was little, I knew that I wanted to be paid for the value I brought. My first job was washing hair at a salon. I was making something like $3 an hour, but I knew I was providing more value than I was being paid for. I wasn't just washing hair: I was talking to the ladies about their families and their churches, giving them one-on-one attention.

After my year as Miss Georgia, I was hired as a Goodwill Ambassador to Japan. That came with a nice paycheck, too. I realized that if I got lots of bookings like that, I could make as much as I wanted. I started to develop my speaking and performing skills. I realized my value was whatever price tag I put on it.

That realization helped me become a multimillionaire.

I landed a reality TV show while I had an infant

A few years later, I was married to my husband, Travis. We had an infant and a 2-year-old, and I was bored to death as a stay-at-home mom. I knew my most important job was being a mother, but I wanted more. I needed a sense of purpose.

I Googled reality TV shows and found a contact for a producer. I remember sitting at home, no makeup and no bra, with spit-up on my shirt as I reached out to him. That led to a reality TV show about coaching pageants. It got picked up by Lifetime, and I was so proud to be a stay-at-home mom who had landed a television show.

When the show was canceled 18 months later, I was devastated. I didn't know that would be the turning point in my life.

I love running my company

At the time, I wasn't thinking about myself as an entrepreneur. I just thought I had a slick mouth and a big personality, and I knew how to use them.

After the show was canceled, I whined to my parents, who told me to cut it out and put on my big girl panties. My mom had an idea for soft jeans that wouldn't stretch out throughout the day. I started trying to make her vision come to life, and 18 months later, I was selling them on QVC.

Today, I've created two of QVC's most successful brands. Over the last seven years, I've sold over $1 billion in clothing, and last year my companies did $283 million in sales. I love that I run the company, and my husband is the chief financial officer. I'm not licensing my name or brand; I'm making decisions and developing this company.

Failure has helped me learn

The beautiful thing about being successful and having financial wealth is what you can do with it. Travis and I have built outdoor classrooms and have redone a girls' locker room for our local schools. We also started a nonprofit to teach girls about entrepreneurship.

I grew up middle class, but my dad, a banker, was cheaper than dirt. He taught us to save 70% of our money and live and give with the remaining 30%.

In some ways, I'm still cheaper than dirt. If our family goes out to dinner, we drink water or get one soda to share. My 16-year-old got a hand-me-down car when he got his license: a 2014 Nissan Rogue. I try to be like the millionaire next door.

Throughout my life, I've learned more from my failures than I have from my successes. If my show hadn't been canceled, I wouldn't have started making products.

I want my sons to experience failure, but I'm worried that they're part of a generation that doesn't know how to fail well. I don't want them to experience serious failures, like mental health issues or financial scams. But if they don't make the sports team, I'm not the parent calling the school to express outrage. Failure is our friend in finances, romance, and life. It's where we learn.

• Emma Bayer of Georgia has been applying for scholarships since 9th grade.
• She's secured a lot of in funding, enough to pay for two years of college.
• When her dad died unexpectedly, the scholarship funds gave her peace of mind.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with college student Emma Bayer. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I was never worried about paying for college. I'm an only child, and was the only grandchild until I was 15. I knew that my extended family would help me pay for college. My parents and extended family felt that college was important in order to have a career, not just a job.

Yet, I've always been someone who is driven. I like doing things that are worth my time and effort. I realized early on that applying for scholarships would pay off — both figuratively and literally.

Today, I've secured more than 20 scholarships, which is enough to pay for at least my first two years of college. I'm studying equine barn design and farming infrastructure, and just finished up my freshman year. Although I'm now working toward my degree, I'm still applying for scholarships and hoping to get more.

I started applying in the 9th grade

Early on I knew that scholarships would be available through organizations that I was part of, like Girl Scouts and H4. Once that was on my radar I started joining organizations that had scholarship opportunities, like the National Society of High School Scholars.

I won my first scholarships my freshman year of high school, through a local youth organization. They were worth $300 and $500 — not the biggest sum, but those little amounts added up.

Receiving those scholarships upped my motivation. When you see yourself succeed and know that's an investment in your future, it makes you want to apply yourself.

I spent hundreds of hours applying for scholarships

Throughout high school I applied for more and more scholarships, reaching a peak my junior and senior years.

Senior year, I applied for more than 70 scholarships; during my freshman year of college I applied for about 40 more. I have a spreadsheet with deadlines, reward amounts, and application requirements.

I've spent hundreds of hours applying for scholarships. Sometimes that impacted the time I spend with friends. Still, the sacrifice was worth it. I really saw the value in what I was doing.

By the time I started my freshman year at Abraham Baldwin Agricultural College, I had enough scholarship funding to cover tuition, plus room and board.

That removed so much pressure; I didn't have to worry about finding a job or cutting costs because I had already put in the work.

Scholarships gave me peace of mind after my dad died

During my freshman year, my dad died unexpectedly. It was devastating. I decided to transfer to Kennesaw State University and live at home for my sophomore year. It was just too hard being away from my family after my dad died.

Amid my grief, my scholarships gave me huge peace of mind. It was a massive weight off my shoulders, knowing that my first year of school without him will be paid for. I can focus on education, my horses, and healing, without having to fight to keep my opportunity for a college education.

The funding has been a confidence booster

Getting so many scholarships has boosted my confidence. It's not about my ego, but more about the fact that people are recognizing the work I'm doing in my communities.

It was especially meaningful when I received an athletic scholarship. As an equestrian, it was great to see my sport recognized when it's often overlooked for more mainstream sports.

I've realized there's a scholarship for everybody, especially if you're involved in your community. Applying takes work, but it's worth it. Student loans are such a burden, and for me, scholarships have meant that I don't need to dig myself a financial hole when I'm really trying to give myself a leg up by securing a college education.

• Some parents still have kids write thank-you notes and others would be glad to never see one again.
• Parenting and etiquette experts agree it's important to teach kids gratitude.
• However, that can be done through a text or video message, they said.

Picture throwing a birthday party for your kids. They're excitedly opening presents, and you're keeping track of who gifted what. After the party ends, while your child is napping (or bouncing off the walls from too much sugar — no judgment), you're slowly cleaning the house.

Your eye catches that list, and you start to think about the arduous task of thanking everyone for the Lego sets and stuffies. There's a question that's been looming over your head like a cloud, now threatening to rain — do you force your child to write thank-you notes, or not?

The practice of expressing written thanks in some way has been around for centuries and, perhaps surprisingly, in an age of ecards, texts, and FaceTime, the greeting card industry is one of growth. And thank-you notes are the third most popular cards after birthday and sympathy, and women buy the bulk of them at around 85%. However, whether they're bought by child-free folks, parents who still believe in handwritten thanks, or parents begrudgingly making the purchase, that's a harder question to answer.

Whether you're the type who always has monogrammed notes on hand and covets quality cardstock, or you're a parent who would be most grateful never to have to write a note of thanks again, there's some common ground: thank-you notes have become strangely controversial. The more rebellious gift recipients say the expectation to write notes is outdated and pedantic, while proponents say a handwritten token of gratitude is simply manners 101.

Thank-you notes take time and energy, but some still think they're important

Emily Genser, 48, says sending a thank you in the mail is an essential practice. Her 13-year-old son has been diligently working his way through about 75 thank-you notes for gifts he received at his bar mitzvah. Gesner, who lives in Connecticut, is OK with him taking his time — her son has been filling out five notes every day — but feels it's essential that he handwrite a formal card.

"I think there's something to be said for the time it takes for my kids to do it," said Genser.

That time reflects the effort that went into sending a gift and attending the event, said Gesner, who is also a mom to a 15-year-old. She wants her kids to "understand that things don't come to you out of nowhere," she said. "That there's a person behind every gift."

As a fellow mom of two — my daughters are 7 and 11 — I agree with Gesner's sentiment (I do, in fact, keep quality cards on hand for just this purpose). Yet, I lack her follow-through. My oldest's birthday was last month. When she received a card with $20 in the mail from a family member, I told her she could only spend the money after sending a thank-you note. The money is still untouched, and I haven't had the energy to push her to send the notes.

How to have kids express their thanks has been a hot topic

When I contacted experts about thank-you notes, I was relieved to see that those I spoke with also have a nuanced approach to thank-you notes. They said it's important that kids express gratitude, but less important that they do that by writing a note.

"Forcing kids to write a formal note when it feels like a chore kind of misses the point," Monika Roots, a child psychiatrist, mom of two, and cofounder at Bend Health, said. "What matters more is helping them say thank you in a way that feels genuine, whether that's a quick video, a simple message, or even a drawing. It's less about the format and more about building a habit of gratitude that they'll carry with them as they grow."

Even a quick thanks can build a connection

Roots' advice was music to my ears. In addition to the card and cash, my daughter received a birthday package from her uncle. I took a video of her opening the gift (an instant-print camera) and snapping a photo with it, then quickly sent it to my brother. He loved seeing his niece's genuine joy, and neither my daughter nor I had to put the effort into writing a card that he would just toss.

Although it was easier than sending a card, this type of thank you can be just as impactful, said etiquette expert Genevieve Dreizen, author of "Simple Scripts to Support Your People: What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say."

"Gratitude builds connection," Dreizen said. "It makes people feel seen, and it strengthens relationships over time. The act of saying thank you — whether it's a scribbled note or a phone call — teaches empathy, mindfulness, and reflection, especially for children."

Dreizen said etiquette should be rooted in values, not performance. If your kids prefer making a fun video or a colorful drawing to express their thanks, that's OK. In fact, if they're working on something they're excited about, it may be even more appreciated.

"What matters is teaching them to acknowledge kindness in ways that feel authentic to them," she said.

Prompts and snacks can help get thank-you notes done

If you're a parent who feels strongly about traditional thank-you notes, that's also fine. There are ways that you can make the whole process feel less like a chore for both you and your kids, like doing just a few cards at a time, having fun stationery and pens, or working on them while sharing a snack.

Offering a prompt or script can also help, according to parenting coach and mom Jenn Brown. She suggests a fill-in-the-blank type note, like this:

Dear [Name], Thank you for [the gift or gesture]. It really meant a lot because [personal reason]. I felt [emotion] when I opened/received it. Thanks again!

"It's not about getting every word perfect," Brown said. "It's about helping them build the habit of expressing appreciation in a way that feels doable."

• Julie Beckham is a financial educator and mom of two.
• Her daughter is a high school senior, and her son is about to graduate from college.
• She's had honest conversations about the cost of college since they were young.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Julie Beckham, assistant vice president of financial education and development and strategy officer at Rockland Trust Bank. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I grew up in a middle-class family and was lucky to have my parents pay for my education at New York University. NYU was still expensive back in the 1990s, but it was the type of expensive that a middle-class family could still afford with a moderate amount of sacrifice.

Today, as a financial educator, I still consider myself middle class, but there's no way I could pay the entire cost of college education for my two kids, who are 18 and 21. That's true for many families, thanks to the skyrocketing cost of college.

Because of that, I've been very intentional about talking with my kids about paying for college — from the time they started high school.

Here's how we've planned together to manage the cost.

Choose more affordable schools

Schools with a lower profile yet more affordable tuition can offer a better return on investment for many families. Getting kids to consider these can be tricky since colleges are so good at marketing. Sometimes, going to a "name brand" school is less about the degree and more about the swag.

Ask your kids what they love about a well-known school. Then, provide alternatives that have that same characteristic, at a lower price point. Boston College is popular near where I live because of its football culture, but the same vibe can be found elsewhere for a much lower price.

I've told my kids to consider schools that may not be well-known or have all the swag but are nonetheless special. These schools can give talented students more financial aid and a chance to stand out.

Understand what you can afford, and tell your kids

As my kids approached college age, their dad and I talked about the amount that we could afford to pay toward their education. It's based on what works for each of our budgets.

My kids are expected to pay the difference between the cost of their college and what we're able to cover as their parents.

I recommend parents be very honest about what they can afford, so students can decide whether they're willing to take on student loan debt to cover other costs.

Ditch the guilt about what you can't cover

Sometimes I feel guilty that I can't pay for their whole education. But this is my reality and what I can reasonably afford.

Although I'm a financial educator, I didn't have the means to start saving for college until my kids were in their teens. When I did, it was very simple: transferring a small portion of each paycheck to a savings account I named "college." It wasn't a 529 college savings plan, it wasn't a lot of money, and it wasn't very sophisticated, but it was a start.

It's easy to criticize ourselves as parents, but we need to acknowledge we're often doing the best we can for our kids.

Apply for grants and scholarships

Small grants and scholarships might seem insignificant against the huge bill for college, but they add up. You think $500 isn't going to make a dent, but when you're paying $80 for a book, you realize $500 can be helpful.

I helped my kids apply by researching opportunities, reminding them of deadlines, and encouraging them to work on applications. Sometimes they weren't happy to write another essay, but I reminded them it would take an hour and they could get hundreds of dollars.

Ask for more financial aid

Once you've applied to schools and received your financial aid packages, you might notice significant differences in how much aid your student gets from each school. If that's the case, you can ask a school to match what a comparable school has provided.

I've tried this twice. Once, I called the financial aid office, and they said they couldn't make changes. But another time, I was asked to email the other offer, and they'd see if they could adjust the financial aid package. It never hurts to ask.

Consider graduating early

My son is about to graduate from college a year early, which is a huge savings for our family. He did it by taking advanced placement (AP) classes in high school and earning a few extra credits during college. It was hard work, but it will likely save our family thousands of dollars.

College brings up a lot of feelings for parents and kids. There's so much pressure to get this step right. It's helpful to remember that this is just the first of many steps. Although it feels important, it's the decisions we make every day that really impact our lives.