• Julie Beckham is a financial educator and mom of two.
• Her daughter is a high school senior, and her son is about to graduate from college.
• She's had honest conversations about the cost of college since they were young.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Julie Beckham, assistant vice president of financial education and development and strategy officer at Rockland Trust Bank. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I grew up in a middle-class family and was lucky to have my parents pay for my education at New York University. NYU was still expensive back in the 1990s, but it was the type of expensive that a middle-class family could still afford with a moderate amount of sacrifice.

Today, as a financial educator, I still consider myself middle class, but there's no way I could pay the entire cost of college education for my two kids, who are 18 and 21. That's true for many families, thanks to the skyrocketing cost of college.

Because of that, I've been very intentional about talking with my kids about paying for college — from the time they started high school.

Here's how we've planned together to manage the cost.

Choose more affordable schools

Schools with a lower profile yet more affordable tuition can offer a better return on investment for many families. Getting kids to consider these can be tricky since colleges are so good at marketing. Sometimes, going to a "name brand" school is less about the degree and more about the swag.

Ask your kids what they love about a well-known school. Then, provide alternatives that have that same characteristic, at a lower price point. Boston College is popular near where I live because of its football culture, but the same vibe can be found elsewhere for a much lower price.

I've told my kids to consider schools that may not be well-known or have all the swag but are nonetheless special. These schools can give talented students more financial aid and a chance to stand out.

Understand what you can afford, and tell your kids

As my kids approached college age, their dad and I talked about the amount that we could afford to pay toward their education. It's based on what works for each of our budgets.

My kids are expected to pay the difference between the cost of their college and what we're able to cover as their parents.

I recommend parents be very honest about what they can afford, so students can decide whether they're willing to take on student loan debt to cover other costs.

Ditch the guilt about what you can't cover

Sometimes I feel guilty that I can't pay for their whole education. But this is my reality and what I can reasonably afford.

Although I'm a financial educator, I didn't have the means to start saving for college until my kids were in their teens. When I did, it was very simple: transferring a small portion of each paycheck to a savings account I named "college." It wasn't a 529 college savings plan, it wasn't a lot of money, and it wasn't very sophisticated, but it was a start.

It's easy to criticize ourselves as parents, but we need to acknowledge we're often doing the best we can for our kids.

Apply for grants and scholarships

Small grants and scholarships might seem insignificant against the huge bill for college, but they add up. You think $500 isn't going to make a dent, but when you're paying $80 for a book, you realize $500 can be helpful.

I helped my kids apply by researching opportunities, reminding them of deadlines, and encouraging them to work on applications. Sometimes they weren't happy to write another essay, but I reminded them it would take an hour and they could get hundreds of dollars.

Ask for more financial aid

Once you've applied to schools and received your financial aid packages, you might notice significant differences in how much aid your student gets from each school. If that's the case, you can ask a school to match what a comparable school has provided.

I've tried this twice. Once, I called the financial aid office, and they said they couldn't make changes. But another time, I was asked to email the other offer, and they'd see if they could adjust the financial aid package. It never hurts to ask.

Consider graduating early

My son is about to graduate from college a year early, which is a huge savings for our family. He did it by taking advanced placement (AP) classes in high school and earning a few extra credits during college. It was hard work, but it will likely save our family thousands of dollars.

College brings up a lot of feelings for parents and kids. There's so much pressure to get this step right. It's helpful to remember that this is just the first of many steps. Although it feels important, it's the decisions we make every day that really impact our lives.

• Salim Elhila is a cofounder and CEO based in Dubai.
• He and his cofounder try to optimize every minute of their day.
• They work with more than 10 professionals to help them be their best.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Salim Elhila, cofounder of Decentralized Masters. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I run a multimillion-dollar crypto business with my co-founder and best friend, Tan Gera. Last year, we generated more than $30 million in revenue worldwide. To run a company of that magnitude efficiently, Tan and I try to optimize every minute of our day.

To do that, we hire many professionals to help with both our personal and professional lives, most of whom work with both of us. On the business side, we've hired the kind of people you might expect, like personal assistants and mentors. We also have cleaners and a chef, plus a wide-ranging team that helps us look after our personal health on a spiritual, physical, and emotional level.

This is expensive. I spend $10,000 to $20,000 a month on these professionals. But doing so also allows me to generate more income through my company. The expense is worth it not only financially but also for my physical and mental health and well-being.

The Japanese concept of ikigai guided me to follow my passion

A few years ago, I learned about the Japanese concept of ikigai. The term refers to a passion that brings value and joy to a person's life. Essentially, it gives you something to live for. Following the concept of ikigai means spending the most amount of time on the tasks you love, that you're best at, that you can be paid well for, and that the world needs.

I use this idea to guide my day. I try to spend most of my time working toward my ikigai — for me, my passion is our business and also producing music. To spend more time in my ikigai, I outsource other tasks.

I'm also guided by how we gain knowledge. We can learn from our own mistakes, but that's sometimes painful and leaves you with a scar. Or, you can learn from the experience of others. That's often quicker and won't leave you hurt. That's why I hire professionals who know more than me about their areas of expertise.

We outsource home tasks and bring experts into the business

Many of the professionals Tan and I hire to optimize our lives allow us to spend more time doing what we truly love. We hire people to clean, grocery shop, and cook for us. I can cook, but it's not something I enjoy. My personal chef was one of my first hires. He prepares all my meals and snacks.

I also have a personal assistant who handles my schedules and all my personal and business obligations. On the business front, we've hired experts, mentors, and analysts with whom we meet each Friday. Tan and I are leading experts in our field, but having perspectives from other people is important.

We have a whole team looking after our health

We also invest a lot in our health. For 10 years, I worked out on my own. My ego told me I knew everything I needed. Then, three years ago, I hired a fitness coach. I made more progress in those three years than I had in the previous decade. I realized I don't know what I don't know. Now, Tan and I each work out separately with our personal trainer 5-6 days a week.

In addition to a fitness coach, I have a stretching coach who comes to my apartment two times a week in the morning. Waking up with a guided stretching routine is one of the moments I feel most grateful for the life I've created.

My most recent hire is a breath work coach. He's a somatic healer, and he's been life-changing. He uses a combination of massage and breath work to help process trauma and let go of stress and ego. I see him once a week.

We also have a physiotherapist, massage therapist, chiropractor, and osteopath on call. I have a boxing coach who I see occasionally, though not too much at the moment.

My system is unusual, but I love it

I think about not only optimizing my time, but also my energy. I start my day with the tasks that are most important. Most mornings that means stretching on the beach near my home, then doing 4-5 hours of deep focus work with Tan in my apartment. We both wear noise-canceling headphones playing binaural beats to help us focus.

The chef brings us lunch, and then Tan and I each have a workout session. In the afternoon, we have meetings and try to finish work by 7 or 8 p.m. Then we have downtime, dinner, and hit the spa or sauna.

Tan and I know we're not living a typical life. It's very structured and optimized, not to mention costly. But we love this system, and it allows us to be at our best to operate a global company. We want to make sure every moment is used the right way, and spending on that is a good investment.

• Regina Lawless met her husband at 18 and was with him for 21 years.
• He died from a heart attack when Regina was 40 and their son was 15.
• Regina found love again later that year and is now engaged.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Regina Lawless, author of "Do You." It has been edited for length and clarity.

My husband Al and I were pioneers in online dating. We met in a Yahoo chat room back in 1999. My username included the word "heaven," and Al sent me a chat saying, "Is there any room in heaven for me?"

I was only 18, so I liked Al's cheesy pickup line. Soon, I realized we had a lot in common. I had recently graduated from high school and enlisted in the Army Reserve. Al was five years older than me and had just returned from four years of active duty with the Navy. He gave me tips on how to survive boot camp.

I was attracted to Al's worldliness and his humor. Once we met in person, there was a magnetic pull between us. We got married five years after we met, and our son, Morgan, was born the year after that.

At first, Al was the breadwinner, but my salary soon eclipsed his

Al worked in manufacturing. At the beginning of our relationship, I was still putting myself through college. He helped support me financially and emotionally.

Over our marriage, our financial dynamic changed. I got my master's degree and began working in corporate jobs, eventually becoming the Diversity Equity and Inclusion Lead at Instagram. My income jumped, while he stayed pretty much the same.

That never bothered Al. He didn't feel less fortunate because he wasn't the breadwinner. Although, the more I made the more he spent. The man loved sneakers and eating out.

Al was having a heart attack, but we didn't realize

In May 2021, Al and I went on a date. When we got home, he wasn't feeling well. That wasn't too unusual. He was diabetic and had experienced pretty severe indigestion in the past.

The next day, he looked really bad. I called urgent care, and they told me to hang up and call 911. I followed the ambulance to the ER, where the doctor said, "Did you know your husband was having a heart attack?" That completely floored me.

The doctors told me to call my family because Al might not make it through the night. I went to see him in the operating room. As I walked out, I collapsed. My parents had to pick me up off the floor. Shortly after, Al died.

I was in a daze until I went away for 3 days to grieve

The next few weeks were a daze. I held Al's funeral on what would have been his 46th birthday. I was surrounded by family, but I didn't feel like I could grieve with everyone else around. I was also struggling with panic attacks.

About a month after Al passed, my sister moved in. She provided some normality to our house. We celebrated Morgan's 16th birthday and tried to make it feel as normal as possible. Once I got through that, I knew I needed time for myself. I spent three days in a hotel, finally taking the time to process my loss.

I'm getting married later this year

I was with Al for 21 years, more than half my life at that point. I thought I'd meet someone else eventually, but probably not until I was in a nursing home.

Yet, that December, about seven months after Al died, I went out with friends. Something told me to take off my wedding ring. That night, I met Jeffrey, who is now my fiancé. When he first touched my hand, I felt a jolt. He was so compassionate about me being a widow but didn't treat me like I needed to be tip-toed around.

Still, I felt guilty. I worried about what people would think and that I was betraying Al's memory. Then, my therapist said, "What would Al want?" I knew he would want me to be happy because we'd had those conversations.

Jeffrey proposed to me in 2024, and we're getting married this October. I know I can honor my love for Al while allowing new things to flower. With time, therapy, and a lot of self-work, I've been able to open myself up to the universe. I've continually chosen to stay open, even when it feels scary. That has allowed me to love again.

• A mom of two grew up in an anti-vax community after her own mom said she had a bad reaction to a vaccine.
• Over the years, she started questioning her beliefs and now vaccinates her kids.
• Her sons just got the measles vaccine at 7 and 9.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with a mom of two in South Carolina. She asked to remain anonymous to protect the privacy of her children and parents. It has been edited for length and clarity.

When I was an infant, I had a bad reaction to a vaccine. My mom couldn't wake me up for an entire day — at least, that's how she remembers it.

That was in the early 90s, and my parents were living at the intersection of conservative Christianity and crunchy parenting. They were surrounded by people who didn't vaccinate, and my reaction scared my mom. I'm the oldest of eight, and after that, none of us got vaccines. My parents fell deeper into anti-vax misinformation.

Vaccines were always a topic of conversation around me growing up. As a teen, I read a book by Jenny McCarthy in which she said she believes her son's autism was caused by the measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR) vaccine — a theory that numerous scientific studies have debunked.

Despite that, I was never one of those people who makes being anti-vax their whole personality. I was somewhat open to vaccines—which is more common than stereotypes about anti-vaxxers would have you think. In my early 20s, I got a few vaccines before a trip to South America. I was concerned about getting sick there and thought vaccines could help protect me against pathogens like those that cause tetanus and diphtheria. I felt my adult body could handle a few vaccines.

The pandemic solidified my willingness to vaccinate

My husband had a similar upbringing. When our son was born 9 years ago, I started reading books and research about vaccines. I could see value in some of them, but I had a lot of questions and still wasn't comfortable vaccinating. But my son's pediatrician didn't seem to be interested in answering my questions about vaccines. I'm not sure if he didn't have the time, the knowledge, or the willingness to engage in the conversation.

The next two years were stressful for our family. It was a time of change, including the death of my mother-in-law while I was pregnant with my second child. I started questioning my parenting beliefs further, and critically evaluating how I'd been raised — including what I'd been taught about vaccines.

Immediately after that, the pandemic started. The COVID vaccine rollout a year later solidified my belief in vaccines. My husband works in a hospital, and I saw the immediate benefit vaccines had. Later, seeing how quickly the government paused the rollout of the Johnson and Johnson vaccine due to rare side effects was reassuring — I felt there really was accountability for vaccine safety. My husband and I started discussing vaccinating the kids.

I want other vaccine-hesitant parents to see my story

Getting the kids up-to-date with vaccines is a long process. It's still hard for me and them. Luckily, our new pediatrician is a great resource for creating a plan that works for us. They're behind a typical vaccine schedule, but we recently got their MMR vaccines, in part because of measles outbreaks in the US.

Even though I knew it was the right choice, it was hard for me. I was proud that I overcame this challenging belief I used to have. But I also want parents like me to see it is OK to change their minds.

Changing minds takes respect and time

One thing that felt very disingenuous to me in the past was when people advocating for vaccination said vaccines have no risk. Everything in life has risks, and it's important to acknowledge that. Today, I know the risk from vaccines is extremely minimal and comes with a huge reward. I put it in perspective by thinking about how driving is a much bigger risk and one I take every day.

I was a good mom when I wasn't vaccinating my kids, and I'm a good mom now. Any conversation about vaccines should start with that in mind. Get curious about a person's reasons for not vaccinating. Don't blame, judge, or try to change their minds — just ask about their beliefs. Maybe they'll ask about yours, too.

Don't expect immediate change. For me, this took years, and it's still difficult. But you never know when a piece of your conversation might stick with someone and open them to more honest, nonjudgmental conversations about vaccination.